daisyjen

Yesterday, I turned the computer on and realized it mustve shut down due to lack of charge while my almost 16 yr old son was on it the night before. It went directly to the page he was last viewing - his myspace. I read some of the entries between him and his friends.... They had gone to a bd party last Sunday - I was aware of that part - and there was drinking involved. My son admitted being drunk to his friend and even said when came home and showered he was still dizzy.

This blows my mind and breaks my heart... We've talked and talked about alcoholism and how it runs in both families. I don't get it. What do I do? I went to him as he slept and had the urge to take him in my arms and just cry.... and then beat the crap out of him. How do I get him to understand the dangerous choices he is making??? I understand, "all" kids try it. At least that is what I am told. I did not. I saw what it did to my mom and didnt want to end up like her. There is no Alateen here.

The other part is I am not going to tell my RAH. At least for the time being. He thinks it is wrong to snoop thru the kids things. I think I have the right as long as he is a minor. We fought over this issue 2 weeks ago. I read my sons text messages to a girl in which the planned to sneak out of the house and meet at night. I didnt think they actually did, but RAH buddied up with our son and got him to tell him that they did sneak out. I found out later and wanted our son punished. RAH did not. It said on our sons myspace also how he and his dad are telling each other secrets. THAT'S why he didnt want him punished...

Any suggestions????

Barbara52

Sounds like its time for an honest talk with your son. You saw his comments, not by deliberate snooping as I see it, and its important enough to say something along the lines of "I saw your myspace page about drinking and we need to talk about this." As a parent, I would do so.

TryingSoHard

I agree with B52, and I also do NOT think you were "snooping". I have a 14-year old son and he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that we reserve the right to check his texts, ask to see his emails, and monitor his internet history. We've had pornography issues with him on more than one occasion, and he needs to learn that some behaviors simply are not appropriate, especially at such a young age. So yes, I agree with you completely that you have the right to monitor your minor child's online activities! My gosh, some of the stuff that they post on MySpace... they must think they live in a vacuum and that no one else can ever see it! Boggles my mind sometimes.

Your son and your RAH telling each other secrets?!? :wtf2 Have you discusssed that with your RAH? That could be a whole other can of worms in itself.

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes if you choose to approach your son about the drinking incident.

nowinsituation

Daisy -- that is a tough one. I absolutely stalked my son via myspace when he was a senior in high school. I couldn't access his page (available only to his "friends"); but I could see lots of his friend's pages. What I found out while doing that was absolutely shocking. And most of it was not at all related to my own son. Then I had to try to pretend that I did not know any of that stuff when I was around his friends and/or their parents. It was not my proudest moment.

I agree with Barbara's suggestions of letting him know that you saw his page; and having an honest talk about the information. I wish I could give you some good suggestions on how to follow through. We tried to set some clear rules -- curfew; and limits to how many nights out; and that he had to be involved in sports or have a part time job. All of those will be hard to enforce if your AH is not on board. Good luck to you.