So...What About your own drinking?
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,695
When things really started to get out of control with my husband's alcohol consumption he started staying out very late - just not coming home, not calling.
I was beside myself with anger and bitterness.
What right did he have to leave me with ALL the responsibilities?
Why did he get to go out and have fun, free from worry?
So I decided that I would have a "few drinks" the next time that he decided to stay out all night. I'd show him! I'd have some fun, too!
I bought a bottle of wine. And I drank it.
BAD IDEA.
I was paranoid, scared, and weepy. I was sick.
That night, throwing up and crying and alone, I realized that I HAD to get out of that house. I was making self-destructive choices. I was endangering my child because of my anger at AH. I was allowing myself to get pulled down into the muck when I needed, for my child's sake, to rise above.
That was my bottom.
I left the next day and moved out within the next two weeks.
Today I have a glass of wine with dinner once a month or so. I enjoy a margarita with my friends about as often. Sometimes I wonder what my drinking would have looked like if I had decided to stay in that crazy-making situation. Probably wouldn't have been pretty.
-TC
I was beside myself with anger and bitterness.
What right did he have to leave me with ALL the responsibilities?
Why did he get to go out and have fun, free from worry?
So I decided that I would have a "few drinks" the next time that he decided to stay out all night. I'd show him! I'd have some fun, too!
I bought a bottle of wine. And I drank it.
BAD IDEA.
I was paranoid, scared, and weepy. I was sick.
That night, throwing up and crying and alone, I realized that I HAD to get out of that house. I was making self-destructive choices. I was endangering my child because of my anger at AH. I was allowing myself to get pulled down into the muck when I needed, for my child's sake, to rise above.
That was my bottom.
I left the next day and moved out within the next two weeks.
Today I have a glass of wine with dinner once a month or so. I enjoy a margarita with my friends about as often. Sometimes I wonder what my drinking would have looked like if I had decided to stay in that crazy-making situation. Probably wouldn't have been pretty.
-TC
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 68
LTD,
Thanks so much for the honesty in your post. I have to admit that reading this question made me uncomfortable, as I was sucked into my AH’s addiction so very much. I see now how lucky am I to have taken myself off the slippery slope I was on. Alcohol has been part of my life for so long, and I consider myself so fortunate that I’ve found help to start getting a grip on what *I* want out of life – not what everyone else wants. I’m an ACOA, and my first husband was in the military, where drinking and alcoholism runs rampant. I went from my childhood home where drinking was a part of daily life straight to marriage to an Army LT at 19 to my current marriage with an alcoholic. I’ve slowly been discovering since I moved out last March how much alcohol has ruled my life (funny how hard it is to see things right in front of your face...) My codie nature keeps getting sucked in by my AH with lines like “let’s celebrate xx with some drinks” or “let’s commiserate over a few drinks” or “it’s Friday night, we’ve had a stressful week let’s go out & have a few drinks…” Over the last few months, I’ve started to gain the courage to say “no, let’s go for dinner” or “let’s go to the movies”, and it’s sad the number of times he turns me down. While I still enjoy a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend at home, like LTD said, I don’t use it to celebrate/ mourn/de-stress. I drink it because I like the taste of good wine & especially enjoy a glass with a nice long soak in the tub. I love the fact now that I don’t have the haze of alcohol over me how much more I can accomplish in my life. I have renewed interest in caring for my home & garden & have even picked up new and renewed old hobbies. I need to continue to have the strength to say “no” to his drinking invitations & have to keep telling myself that my needs and wants are important & that I don’t have to take care of him in order to be happy.
Thanks, Mambo Queen, for putting this topic out there. It’s been so interesting to read everyone’s responses.
Thanks so much for the honesty in your post. I have to admit that reading this question made me uncomfortable, as I was sucked into my AH’s addiction so very much. I see now how lucky am I to have taken myself off the slippery slope I was on. Alcohol has been part of my life for so long, and I consider myself so fortunate that I’ve found help to start getting a grip on what *I* want out of life – not what everyone else wants. I’m an ACOA, and my first husband was in the military, where drinking and alcoholism runs rampant. I went from my childhood home where drinking was a part of daily life straight to marriage to an Army LT at 19 to my current marriage with an alcoholic. I’ve slowly been discovering since I moved out last March how much alcohol has ruled my life (funny how hard it is to see things right in front of your face...) My codie nature keeps getting sucked in by my AH with lines like “let’s celebrate xx with some drinks” or “let’s commiserate over a few drinks” or “it’s Friday night, we’ve had a stressful week let’s go out & have a few drinks…” Over the last few months, I’ve started to gain the courage to say “no, let’s go for dinner” or “let’s go to the movies”, and it’s sad the number of times he turns me down. While I still enjoy a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend at home, like LTD said, I don’t use it to celebrate/ mourn/de-stress. I drink it because I like the taste of good wine & especially enjoy a glass with a nice long soak in the tub. I love the fact now that I don’t have the haze of alcohol over me how much more I can accomplish in my life. I have renewed interest in caring for my home & garden & have even picked up new and renewed old hobbies. I need to continue to have the strength to say “no” to his drinking invitations & have to keep telling myself that my needs and wants are important & that I don’t have to take care of him in order to be happy.
Thanks, Mambo Queen, for putting this topic out there. It’s been so interesting to read everyone’s responses.
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