Million Steps back today
Million Steps back today
All my old frustrations hit the roof this morning. Instead of me walking out the door, I engaged in a "put down session".
My RAH has physical & mental issues, has our whole married life, so why should I have been suprised that he stayed in bed all weekend and decided that he didn't "need" or "want" to go to work.
I popped off that I was tired of being the only one to hold responsiblity in the house. Our middle child is able to take his drive test Thursday and his dad promised all weekend that they would go drive. They did for about 2 hours on Saturday.
He of course started in on his I am fixing to move out, you don't love me anymore. At this point the quacking just got too much to continue to listen to so I walked away. Then like my old self came back with if I didn't love you why they hell would I have stayed through all the crap you have put me through?
I feel like such a failure. I knew/know better!
I told him his behavior was totally unexceptable. That I was tired of it, he said "I know". That set me off again, and said how the heck do you know? I don't do that to you.
Needless to say, I am sitting her knowing I'll have to make amends for the tone, but not for what was said.
I guess I need a little more practice. And a whole lot more serenity.
P.S. I went on about my normal life this weekend, the plans we had made. WITHOUT HIM!
My RAH has physical & mental issues, has our whole married life, so why should I have been suprised that he stayed in bed all weekend and decided that he didn't "need" or "want" to go to work.
I popped off that I was tired of being the only one to hold responsiblity in the house. Our middle child is able to take his drive test Thursday and his dad promised all weekend that they would go drive. They did for about 2 hours on Saturday.
He of course started in on his I am fixing to move out, you don't love me anymore. At this point the quacking just got too much to continue to listen to so I walked away. Then like my old self came back with if I didn't love you why they hell would I have stayed through all the crap you have put me through?
I feel like such a failure. I knew/know better!
I told him his behavior was totally unexceptable. That I was tired of it, he said "I know". That set me off again, and said how the heck do you know? I don't do that to you.
Needless to say, I am sitting her knowing I'll have to make amends for the tone, but not for what was said.
I guess I need a little more practice. And a whole lot more serenity.
P.S. I went on about my normal life this weekend, the plans we had made. WITHOUT HIM!
cem,
Looks like three steps forward and one-half step back for you, nowhere near a million I know you didn't want to react like that, but none of us is perfect.
I also find it hard to be around people who are irresponsible and whiny, no matter who they are or what their issues are.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other!!
Looks like three steps forward and one-half step back for you, nowhere near a million I know you didn't want to react like that, but none of us is perfect.
I also find it hard to be around people who are irresponsible and whiny, no matter who they are or what their issues are.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other!!
Yeah....sometimes lately the co-codie in me rears its ugly head with my BF and I end up apologizing for not staying on my side of the fence as regards his AS....
You'll do much better next time!!!!
HG
PS....love the Corgi puppy!!!!!!
You'll do much better next time!!!!
HG
PS....love the Corgi puppy!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
it's all just part of the growth. at least you recognized your part in it all....the popping off part.
but, damn, it's so unreal that sometimes we just have to blow up.
my tongue used to be a lethel weapon.....should have been registered in able to use it. it just kept me wore out and stuck in a place i didn't want to be in.
can't make nonsense out of non-sense.....and what you had piled up in bed was a huge pile of non-sense.
but, damn, it's so unreal that sometimes we just have to blow up.
my tongue used to be a lethel weapon.....should have been registered in able to use it. it just kept me wore out and stuck in a place i didn't want to be in.
can't make nonsense out of non-sense.....and what you had piled up in bed was a huge pile of non-sense.
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