So I finally left...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 59
So I finally left...
Last week I got up and left my AW. She's been very physically, mentally and verbally abusive throughout our marriage and last week I just had enough. She burst in on my while I was asleep and was of course drunk. She went on a verbal tirade and then began throwing things at me. I could tell instantly where this was going. For once I did something I never have done in the past out fear of many things. I called the police. The police came and of course made me leave because she was drunk and couldn't drive anywhere. The next day I found a new place to live and I left. Granted I'm in a place with an air matress for a bed and a bean-bag for a chair but I'm safe and I'm living on my own terms. Well now I get served with divorce papers (she beat me to the punch). It looks like for all my troubles she'll take most of my money and things but we have no kids and I'll be alright. I started working out again, going al-anon every week and I'm out doing things and living my life. I won't lie. I'm scrared and lonely some times but I will survive and get through this. No longer do I have to come home and worry what may happen. No longer will I lose friends, money and dignity due to my wife and her unwillingness to get help. That's over. Now if I can just make it through the divorce in one piece I'll be a really happy man. I never figured at 36 I'd be were I'm at but I'm very grateful for all the positive things I have in my life. I just had to rise up out of the ashes and make a stand. The hard part is over now I'll just chip away at the other stuff little by little and eventually I'll get there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
(((((((faith12))))))))
sending you a blast of strength and courage!
stay strong - keep working towards recovering yourself.
36 is such a great age - the fog will lift if you just keep shining the light in there where it is darkest.
peace-
b.
sending you a blast of strength and courage!
stay strong - keep working towards recovering yourself.
36 is such a great age - the fog will lift if you just keep shining the light in there where it is darkest.
peace-
b.
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by faith12 
Granted I'm in a place with an air matress for a bed and a bean-bag for a chair but I'm safe and I'm living on my own terms.
You WILL be just fine, with Alanon's help and with the on going self awareness this ordeal has afforded you, you may just be better than before.
Good luck and God bless you.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: NOVA
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by faith12
No longer do I have to come home and worry what may happen.
I feel you. This is my goal, but we all have to take that walk (if we so choose) in our own time don't we. I'm very happy for you. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I hope you can begin to find the peace and life you deserve.
And I hope you hire yourself a good attorney so you don't lose everything. Yes, stuff is just stuff and your serenity is worth losing stuff. But you don't have to roll over and let her screw you over in the divorce either.
And I hope you hire yourself a good attorney so you don't lose everything. Yes, stuff is just stuff and your serenity is worth losing stuff. But you don't have to roll over and let her screw you over in the divorce either.
"Taking the risk to blossom"
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: a little piece of heaven! Ontario Canada
Posts: 245
I'm hoping to cross to the other side very soon as well -- stories such as yours gives me a boost and hope that i too will make it.
thanks for letting me "grab some courage from you!"
ttg
thanks for letting me "grab some courage from you!"
ttg
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Good for you faith12, for letting your actions speak louder than words. Don't forget freecycle......most cities have a group and I hear you can get some great free stuff.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.....sounds like you are in a great frame of mind!
Keep us posted on how you are doing.....sounds like you are in a great frame of mind!
Freed from the anguish
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 124
(((faith12))) Awesome work!!! I too slept on an airmattress for a while. I've been out two whole months now. It's a bit bumpy and scary at first. But don't back down on yourself. You are finally taking care of YOU! And that's AWESOME 
You'll get through this crazy confusing scariness and your head will start to clear and you'll start to see light at the end of the tunnel Keep posting and keep getting support for YOU!!!
You'll get through this crazy confusing scariness and your head will start to clear and you'll start to see light at the end of the tunnel Keep posting and keep getting support for YOU!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 59
Thanks everyone for the kind comments and encouragement. I have a lawyer and am going through the motions. Of course now she's just angry and trying to sue me for everything I have but that I somewhat expected. I think now she wants to try and make it look like I was a bad person and she is leaving me to those around her. It's amazing how one can be so clouded and anyone who knows me knows the truth. I at least have my clothes now, my surf-board and a few other things I love! Another month and we get this all over with in court or hopefully out of court as that would be less expensive. I still don't have many possessions but again I have my safety, sanity and it's just so nice to be in control of myself. I do whatever I want whenever I want. It's up to me.
Hey if you are out there and thinking about doing this..... It's been hard at first but after a week or so I've started to feel different. The people I hid all this from I've told all about this and they are now supporting me. Letting go of all the secrets of this has truly been amazing. I never wanted anyone to know about these things as long as I was with her. Now unloading this bagage has been a tremendous weight off my mind. Granted peopel look at me slack-jawed when I tell them about some of the events that have transpired over the years but they have been great to me right after... It's all going to work out... It isn't easy but I see light at the end of the tunnel. Rise up from the ashes. I just say this to myself every day right before I go to the gym and work out. Many, many people have done it in the past. So will I and so can you if you choose to. Rise up from the ashes.
Hey if you are out there and thinking about doing this..... It's been hard at first but after a week or so I've started to feel different. The people I hid all this from I've told all about this and they are now supporting me. Letting go of all the secrets of this has truly been amazing. I never wanted anyone to know about these things as long as I was with her. Now unloading this bagage has been a tremendous weight off my mind. Granted peopel look at me slack-jawed when I tell them about some of the events that have transpired over the years but they have been great to me right after... It's all going to work out... It isn't easy but I see light at the end of the tunnel. Rise up from the ashes. I just say this to myself every day right before I go to the gym and work out. Many, many people have done it in the past. So will I and so can you if you choose to. Rise up from the ashes.
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