I got tricked again! ARGH!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
hey friend,
I can only speak for me - it started out chaotic, and I only had the tiniest idea of what a healthy life might look. I swung back and forth between suffering and joy (suffering mostly, but joy when "he" did the things I wanted him to do...)
As I kept on a plan of recovery, which consisted of Al-Anon, lots of reading, personal counseling & coaching to set MY direction and clarify MY goals, the swings became less and less wild, until my course became much clearer. But I had to keep working at it. It didn't just happen --- I had to keep working it and consciously, actively stepping in the right direction.
What do you WANT your life to look like? Leaving "him" out of the picture for now, what kind of life do you want to be in for the rest of your precious years alive? What are your dreams, your goals, your gifts? Forcing yourself to take your eyes off him and look at YOU, and what you want to do with the years you have left, really has a tendency to moderate those swings.
You find that what you're doing day to day either match that path you want to be on, or they don't -- they're either getting you closer, or they're moving you farther from it. Not sure if that makes sense....
Anyway, sending you big hugs because I know this isn't easy. I can only tell you that it's worth it....once you get over here where I'm standing, on the other side of the mountain. See me waving at you? Hi alice!! :ghug3
I can only speak for me - it started out chaotic, and I only had the tiniest idea of what a healthy life might look. I swung back and forth between suffering and joy (suffering mostly, but joy when "he" did the things I wanted him to do...)
As I kept on a plan of recovery, which consisted of Al-Anon, lots of reading, personal counseling & coaching to set MY direction and clarify MY goals, the swings became less and less wild, until my course became much clearer. But I had to keep working at it. It didn't just happen --- I had to keep working it and consciously, actively stepping in the right direction.
What do you WANT your life to look like? Leaving "him" out of the picture for now, what kind of life do you want to be in for the rest of your precious years alive? What are your dreams, your goals, your gifts? Forcing yourself to take your eyes off him and look at YOU, and what you want to do with the years you have left, really has a tendency to moderate those swings.
You find that what you're doing day to day either match that path you want to be on, or they don't -- they're either getting you closer, or they're moving you farther from it. Not sure if that makes sense....
Anyway, sending you big hugs because I know this isn't easy. I can only tell you that it's worth it....once you get over here where I'm standing, on the other side of the mountain. See me waving at you? Hi alice!! :ghug3
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