Feeling down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Feeling down
I just got in a screaming match with AH and I am so down right now. He just left for work and I could kick myself for getting into it with him.
I really want this all to just to stop. He was not drinking for @ month and the Holidays were enjoyable. He drank on Jan. 1 and I voiced my opinion quite strongely about it. Basically telling him he had to leave if he thought it was OK to drink and my boundary is still in place.
I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 10 back with regards to my own recovery. How did you guys keep youy own recovery on a steading pace and not backslide?
I really want this all to just to stop. He was not drinking for @ month and the Holidays were enjoyable. He drank on Jan. 1 and I voiced my opinion quite strongely about it. Basically telling him he had to leave if he thought it was OK to drink and my boundary is still in place.
I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 10 back with regards to my own recovery. How did you guys keep youy own recovery on a steading pace and not backslide?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South Australia
Posts: 73
That's the hardest part of recovery for me: 2 steps forwards and quite a few backwards and each time, I get the feeling that all my energy I devoted to my recovery was for nothing. But it is wrong to feel this way. You may go few steps backwards and get very disapointed about it, but you will continue slowly to get better and recognise your mistakes earlier, until the day when you catch yourself almost making the mistake and struggling just in time not to do it again.
It is all very exhausting. At least, this is how I feel. But after a while, you look back and you realise you've come a long way....
It is all very exhausting. At least, this is how I feel. But after a while, you look back and you realise you've come a long way....
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi JackRussellgirl,
I am learning to be patient with myself, this is not magic, and by feeling anything I feel and allowing it to be... we are closer to being truly free. No distractions. Those are your feelings, accept them, learn you are a human... quite limited like anyone else, but going forward in the larger picture and very brave, almost none has the humility to take a good honest look at herself and take action. And still be there to see the amazing results of the inner emotional work. That is a true blessing IMHO, to have that conscience...
It is a process, be kind to yourself :>
How are you going to handle your anger?
I am learning to be patient with myself, this is not magic, and by feeling anything I feel and allowing it to be... we are closer to being truly free. No distractions. Those are your feelings, accept them, learn you are a human... quite limited like anyone else, but going forward in the larger picture and very brave, almost none has the humility to take a good honest look at herself and take action. And still be there to see the amazing results of the inner emotional work. That is a true blessing IMHO, to have that conscience...
It is a process, be kind to yourself :>
How are you going to handle your anger?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
What are the 10 steps back?
I learned in cognitive behavior therapy to try and keep a rational perspective on things. I had a tendency to minimize the good and maximize the bad and that led me towards depression rage and paralysis.
It's a real part of living with alcoholism and addiction. WE are happy and less tense when THEY are not drinking. Our hopes and good mood get dashed when they drink AGAIN. We get angry...it's perfectly normal.
They are miserable when they are not drinking - or hiding their drinking. Until they make a serious bid at recovery this will be a common dynamic between you. Because he's just doing what alcoholics do...in the topsy turvy world of the addict that's his "normal!"
You just have to decide if this is something you can live with? Can you accept him as he is right now? If you can then you might find it easier to detach from his behavior and live your life with him as best you can.
be gentle with yourself and keep things in proportion-- you're on the road to recovery!! It has potholes and roundabouts sometimes!!
peace-
B.
I learned in cognitive behavior therapy to try and keep a rational perspective on things. I had a tendency to minimize the good and maximize the bad and that led me towards depression rage and paralysis.
It's a real part of living with alcoholism and addiction. WE are happy and less tense when THEY are not drinking. Our hopes and good mood get dashed when they drink AGAIN. We get angry...it's perfectly normal.
They are miserable when they are not drinking - or hiding their drinking. Until they make a serious bid at recovery this will be a common dynamic between you. Because he's just doing what alcoholics do...in the topsy turvy world of the addict that's his "normal!"
You just have to decide if this is something you can live with? Can you accept him as he is right now? If you can then you might find it easier to detach from his behavior and live your life with him as best you can.
be gentle with yourself and keep things in proportion-- you're on the road to recovery!! It has potholes and roundabouts sometimes!!
peace-
B.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
My 10 steps backwards is falling for the "I'll get into treatment BS" and once again he stops for @ month and starts up again. Then I get so angry about it.
I want to move past this and not fall for it ever again. So why is it so hard to move onto the next step?
I want to move past this and not fall for it ever again. So why is it so hard to move onto the next step?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
