Tough Times Tough Decision
 

Hours are being cut at work and I can't seem to find a new one, my daughter wants to move out on her own, so I have decided, although my Abrother lives there, to move back with my parents with the two boys. There are many +'s to move back home, parents getting older, they don't eat right, my boys are there everyday anyway, I clean for them, help Mom shower, get dressed ect... I is hared taking care of two households. I know my bother will never leave, but I need to catch up on so many bills and I never have money if the boys need something, like my 6yr old nedds clothes (because he has grown so much) I can go on all day. So why am I so upset about moving there?

Let's see, I can guess that........................................

1) You know your Abrother is there.
2) You and your children have been through this with you AH
3) Not really sure that you want to subject yourself and/or your children to this again.
4) Maybe a teeny bit 'mad' at yourself that you are in this bind.
5) Some lingering 'bitterness' at AH for being in this position.

Now all of the above are valid. I would like to suggest that you MAKE A PLAN, both a 'Budget Plan' and a 'Time Plan' so that before you take this step you have "Light At The End Of The Tunnel" to help you keep your focus on the outcome and not what is going to be going on around you.

It is rough right now, you are NOT A FAILURE, Company's and Corporations's are cutting workers hours, people are losing jobs, my neighbor across the street, a couple about my age, mid 60's just had son, daughter, 2 teenagers and 1 preteen move back in. Company son was working for closed. They have been fighting to save their house, were actually able to get it sold without it being foreclosed (so did save their credit for a future house), but with him still not working, and unemployment only going so far, they are in a real bind.

I understand your feelings, please just remember IT IS NOT FOREVER. This is a temporary means for you to finally get all the baggage of the past (the financial stuff) OFF YOUR BACK and give you room to breathe.

Yes it is going to be hard, but with your folks there, and only one house to take care of, you may be able to get to some extra Alanon meetings, get out with folks who understand and care.

Please remember we are here for you and we/I do care so very much. You have come so so far!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Kermie :Val004:

Laurie hit it on the head as always! :)

Back in August....I found a wonderful house on 2 acres to rent in a beautiful area here
in NJ. It would not be ready until October 1st and my lease was up where I was at so my girlfriend who is going through a divorce said I could stay with her until then. I put everything in storage that I own-my whole life!

On September 14th I was laid off from my long time job-I felt lost hopeless as I could not take that new place! SO my little dog who will be 18 in March and I are blessed we have a roof over our heads but it is not January and nothing has come up with work and there are days that I still get so sad that this is happening!

CHANGE! It is not easy....and with your A brother being there and you having been through this before with your AH (everything Laurie stated) would make you upset-it is natural! Keep telling yourself yes, that it is not "FOREVER"

You have truly come far Kermie! Keep moving forward sweets! :hug: