My Online Family!!! Update!
 

Ok I know how much you are waiting to see updates from me so here I go :-) ok I am being funny!!!

Hello mY sweet loving friends *hug)

My son is doing fantastic I should be able to take him home soon yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has been calling telling me how much he really is in love with me and how I am the only one for him...............ok.........at this point I do not take lip service anymore, I am all about actions now ladies!

I drove to see my ex last Monday. I am not an online person and like to handle my business in person so I did.

We went to lunch and it was nice. I asked him what was going on in his life, needless to say nothing has changed it probably gotten worse.

I told him what I needed and wanted and if he is not willing to take his life in his hands and change it than I won't be around.

He gotten a speeding ticket he can't pay for, no job still, did not sign up for his class this month, and has a cell bill of over $500.

I asked him if he likes this type of life and he said no. I told him, well do something about it. We had a long heart to heart talk in fact our first one and it was pretty good.

I gave him my boundaries and he understood, I made him repeat it to make sure he got it. I told him I won't change them .

So here I am still going strong. My life is great. I am doing wonderful.

When I drove away I felt nothing but love for him and I left with a sense of power in me that I am ok .

I do believe people can change if they truly want to. Well lets see how bad he wants to and how much he really loves himself to make the changes.

Itis truly amazing how much life can change when making changes within oneself.

I am in love with my son, our son. He knows all about daddy already in a wonderful and loving way.

Miracles happen ladies!

Good attitude, PW. :)

It's so great to hear that you get to take your baby home soon. Are you still planning to go overseas? That sounded really cool. Have you lived in Germany before? Enquiring minds want to know.

Hugs!
Smoke

Hi Smoke!
 

I am 100% German born and raised there pretty much all my life. I only been in the USA 6 years now.
I am going home next spring to visit!!

HUG

Hey neato!

I've never been outside the states, but I took four semesters of German back when Lincoln was president. How do you type an umlaut?

Ich finde es sehr sch(o)n das im Fr(u)hling gehen Sie nach Deutschland!

Did I get any of that right? LOL :D

Frau Smoke
 

Did those Duestch lessons take place in a log cabin? Was their brautwurst involved? Did Abe sing "Danke Shoen"? And did he wear liederhosen while singing it? Enquiring minds want to know.
Peace,
Gabe

LOL
 

LOL GABE!! Smoke yes you did very well:-)

I got up this morning and did some thinking. I noticed that he wants to jumb in my life every 5-10 days or so, tell me how much he loves me and when I respond I get the silent treatment from him.

When I see this happening it reminds me that I made a wise choice by leaving. I find it so cruel to just ignore me or anyone else for that matter. What do you guys think ?


He always wanted to meet some of my family members, my sister is here and she has a layover , a chance for me to spend time with her at the airport. I asked him to come and meet her.

His complaint was always that he felt I did not let him in my life 100%. Now that I am trying to include him it seems to me that it doesen't matter to him.

Nothing! He won't reply to anything I send. Well I tried:-) I guess I am still being "punished" for speaking my mind and acting on it and sticking to my boundaries and most of all coming clean with him about what I lied about.

Allthough he forgave me, hmmmmmmmmmmmm makes you wonder doesen't it? What matters is that God forgave me and I forgave myself.

Has anyone else experienced the "silent treatment"?

silent treatment can hurt
 

I can say that I have just been in a short relationship with a guy who would call when he felt like it, and then not call for a while. He'd even say he'd call later or take me out that night and then not call at all until the next day or night. Always some excuse. It would hurt me like hell. When we did talk and see each other he was so adoring and acting very serious and close. That made the quiet spells even more harsh.

In my case I found it not healthy for me. I have the 'obsessive thought' problem of some codependents, and I'd find myself obsessing over why he hadn't called. Reliving the most recent conversations in my mind to find a clue. Lingering by the phone, not making other plans. Feeling very insecure about everything. All because he didn't feel like calling or seeing me after he asked if he could, and he didn't care how that made me feel. I was at his mercy.

This was not good for my recovery.

I think it is very mean to be silent when you know someone else wants to hear from you. So finally I started checking his favorite bar when I hadn't heard from him and yes indeed, his truck was in the parking lot. Once I confirmed this twice, I could face the truth. He'd be there and not want to call or see me at that time, I wasn't the priority. And the selfishness of that is unacceptable to me. I left him a voicemail about my opinion on how mean 'not calling when he says he will' is, and that ended it. I haven't heard from him since, and I'm glad.

My point in this ramble is that the strength we have found and our new focus on loving ourselves has to extend to our not letting people treat us in ways that we find hurtful. Period.

Prettywoman,

The silent treatment is a form of mental abuse, plain and simple.

It's purpose is for control and degradation of your self-esteem.

Ngaire