GiveLove

Paj, you're beautiful.

I left marketing & advertising - a 20-year career - because I couldn't stand my part in creating the messages any longer. Maybe, with people like you, there's hope.

Marigolds

I was just thinking about this today. My H & I grew up in a poverty-stricken area where drinking was glorified. Both of us so badly wanted to escape this culture, neither of us really drank until we got to college, that's when H's drinking problem started. When we visit his hometown, I am just stunned at how much part of the culture it is.

Still Waters

It definitely is in some areas. I never thought a thing of it, growing up in it as I did. And well, you don't know what an alcoholic is like until you live with one, and I never had.

Tally

I find the same thing with Irish folk music. My dad is Irish and my bf's dad is Irish and we both grew up listening to Irish music which seems to be ALL about whiskey and "grog", I used to love it but now I just can't enjoy it at all, it's so silly...writing songs about how much you love alcohol, of course all the writers are probably alcoholics, such as Shane mcGowan and Christy Moore...
It's the same watching television, especially as someone mentioned before, English soap operas, full of codependancy, I'm always pointing it out! Once you learn all about it, it's so easy to spot.

embraced2000

most music today, imo, is about the almighty dollar....forget about what kind of message they are sending, eh? and they always make it sound like a "good ole boy/girl", that shucks, could straighten up at the drop of a pin. pfffttt!!!!

drained22

I come from a Italian background. our version of a "bar" is espresso. beer is not big in Italy, we have the stereotype of wine but not everyone drinks wine. my grandfather only drank a glass of table wine during dinner and that was it. alcoholics in italian culture is relatively low but thats what I came from.

Italians don't go to alcoholic bars. my dad never went, his friends are italian and were born over there and they goto espresso bars and thats it. maybe I was lucky growing up.

there are also some integrity with old fashion italian guys or atleast the ones I grew up around, my uncles, my dad friends who were always work related construction guys who he knew for 20+ years.

divorce, stealing, lying, having "multiple bfs or gfs", one night stands etc.. all of this stuff was never allowed in my up bringing.

we were told, if the girl or boy wasn't serious, we bother bringing them home. if she wasn't your future wife, don't string her along. there was no divorce and having kids deal with the issues that come with it. drugs wasn't even thought of. we were never "talked" about this, it was understood or mom would say it here and there.

It was never a "strict" household, we knew what our priorities were. school came first, then work. we all worked. at age 14, we were all looking for jobs.

Lilyflower

Thanks Drained, that's interesting! I wonder then are we in for a cultural shift what with the ever rising amount of coffee shops such as starbukks?

Perhaps the new generation like my daughter will grow up arranging to meet friends for a coffee, rather than a beer. It annoys me though that when I get out of work (sometimes not until 6:30) the only place open to get a drink is the bars and clubs, coffee bars seem to close when the shops do

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

inahaze

Culture definately glorifies drinking. From the alcohol commercials, to the Superbowl parties, our state fairgrounds offer beer at any event just about, songs, you name it.

For some it gets worked into their head that it's a badge of honor to be able to drink a 6 or 12-pack with no ill effects. It's a right to brag.

Alcoholic's friends all most always are drinkers, telling them how great and how much fun they are.

I wish it were otherwise, but I doubt it will be. Alcohol is big business and I doubt it will end any time soon.

ICant

I started watching a romantic comedy The Accidental Husband recently. Uma Thurman is in it playing a radio dj therapist. In the story a man fakes their marriage certificate (as it happens in Hollywood) and so she goes to the bar he is hanging out in, to sort it all out.

This is the part where it turned into a horror film for me. The man and his friends are all drinking and playing pool because a weekday afternoon is such a social and fun time of day, a real special occasion. Under some peer pressure, she then says something along the lines of "my father taught me how not to get drunk", drinks shots with the man and his friends, and ends up a mess. The man rescues her by taking her to his place etc etc.

Interestingly enough they were all true to type. She was quite controlling, her real fiance (not the man in the bar) ate junk food when he was stressed, the man in the bar that she eventually falls for is the charming personality of an alcoholic when the relationship is in the honeymoon stage of the cycle. Even the comment of "My father..." speaks volumes to me nowadays.

drained22

thats where the idea of Starbucks came from, it was the Italian coffee shops.

perhaps coffee is associated with mornings in American culture? I noticed that you are suppose to offer espresso or coffee when someone is over, at night when they over. but thats in Italian culture.

I remember my father's friend took me and my brother to his brother in laws restaurant just to visit, we also knew him for most of our lives and we were also offered espresso at 10 pm at night.

the people you find in bars did turn me off, we were also taught no "good" girl goto bars, and I even found out other italians who are from different parts.. more affluent parts of Italy to say the same thing. to this day I never brought a female to a bar. except the alcoholic but I think that was "enabling".

drained22

how old are they? you could always offer your house\apartment.

another part of growing up is if you cant bring the male or female friend over then you shouldn't be spending your time with them.

Bamboozle

Hello, TSH.

What they don't show is the beer belly and the jaundice. Now that would be an interesting ad.

drained22

I work in the Retail industry, it all depends if its profitable for starbucks to be open during those works. they have to find the extra staff, because I know the people who work there now don't want to stay til 1am+ when they woke up for the morning shift.

plus is it profitable for them? they have to have refrigerator lights on, equipment on for those extra hours, they won't do it for a extra 200 dollars.

I'm sure this is where the smaller shops can win over some customers, like wine, coffee has its premium products and its followers. I know I'm one. but even now instead of ordering alcohol at restaurants they can order espresso.

Bjen

I guess the song that pops in my head here is "alcohol and a**" by the band hellyeah. Gee, can you guess what that songs about? Pretty bad. It actually makes me laugh at the ignorance and plain lack of talent in the song. The media is filled with this stuff and it sells just like songs about sex. Seems like the more blatant or rebellious something is the more attention it gets.

Remember all the guff Marilyn Manson got from the religious group?. He kind of said it in a song he wrote. I can't remember the exact song or exact lyrics ( I haven't had my coffee yet) and it doesn't really matter. But he points out that even the people that hate him are coming to his shows and listening to his music and making him money. They glorified him by hating him ang got him more attention. Saying the joke is on them in that respect.

There was a time that most songs on the radio or in my cd collection bothered me because they all reminded me of Scott. We loved the same music so that sucked for me. But now I've been away from him and life is better, I can listen and enjoy those songs again. I never thought I would. Once in a while I run across one that tugs at my heart but mostly it's good now. He isn't the only thing in my life and now memories of other things that were good at the time I loved those songs override thought of him.

Lilyflower

My daughter is 10yrs old. So not quite at that age yet, but I do encourage her to only be with friends at mine or their house, she is too young for anything else IMO.

In my post I was thinking of older teenagers and young adults who I see either hanging outside of off licenses in groups or frequenting bars. I would hope my daughter has been or will be influenced enough by me to not want that for herself when she is older. My time to influence her is growing short as she is becoming more independant every year.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MissFixit

I agree about advertising promoting drinking and sleeping around. Partying is what adults do right... Mostly though they show teens and twenty-somethings with money in chic clubs and apartments who are beautiful and show no ill effects of booze.

It would be interesting to see an alcohol commercial with a 40-50-60 year old man slurring words, vomiting in the bushes, paunchy and wearing dirty clothes coming onto a drunken 40-50-60 year old woman with mascara running down her cheeks, overweight and a bad dye job. Both having already slept with most of the people in the dive bar they are in... Boy, that would change people's opinion of beer/tequila/whatever real fast.