i think it is important to remember that most of us on this forum have had to deal with some real hard arse cases.....that's why we are here. to seperate ourselves out from the drama and begin to build a life of our own.

i have known many people that quit without help. no problem. i have known people tht quit, and almost died. one just never really knows what the outcome will be.

one thing we have all learned is that alcoholics are famous for lying to themselves and to others, with all the good intentions in the world, thus, the tough questions from LaTeeDa and fd......we've learned to make a plan for ourselves and accept thatss alcoholics will choose what they choose, regardless of our "help", our "support", etc.

Just to clarify, these are my boundaries not the original poster. I personally no longer care if my husband drinks to the point of passing out. I have detached. His behaviour is not about me, he is not an extension of me, he is not my other half, his behaviour does not reflect badly on me.

My boundaries are to protect my children 1 and 3 years old. I don't want them witnessing drunken behaviour until they are old enough for it to be their choice. He has agreed to these boundaries. The consequence is that I will separate. This is not an empty threat, nor an ultimatum. So if he was to bring alcohol into the home, I would know that he isn't taking the boundary seriously. I will make arrangements to separate.

If he was to act in a drunken manner whether he admitted it or not, once again I will make arrangements to separate. My boundary is for my children. It isn't for him to 'see the light and repent his ways'.

Lost sue - for the first time in my life, the day I let go of my worry about my husband's drinking, I feel so good and in control of my own life. I also had to let go of my desire to keep the marriage however the consequences you put in place are up to you.