Ex-Boyfriend Alcoholic
 

I broke up with my boyfriend. We were close to talking marriage, etc. I realized he had a problem, he said he sometimes has a problem. I dumped him hard, broke contact off completely, I went to a shrink and I am continuing this. He is now seeing a psychiatrist and opened up to me and told me about his abuse as a child, every possible kind. He is getting help. We aren't seeing each other until the Spring. We both have hope, but I don't know if I am just being niave about this. He wants to change, he has told all of his family and friends that he is an alcoholic and he is not drinking now. I am going to my first Al-Anon meeting in a few minutes. We write letters in postal mail only to communicate now. My therapist says I could wait for him, but I might resent him. There is a lot of hurt, I don't know I guess I'll go to this meeting and see what it is all about. Thanks.

Wow. I applaud you!
You have made some VERY positive choices!` The fact that you are concentrating on your recovery and not seeing him while he is working through his process is wonderful.
I hope that you have a wonderful meeting.
You are doing all that you can. The rest you have to leave up to the universe. You can not fix him or help him. He has to do that. Next spring I believe that you will know. My best advice? Stay in today and keep doing what you are doing.
Welcome!!!!!

Wow! Sounds like your a strong-minded, tough little chickie!!
Your awesome! Keep us updated...

Thanks! I went to the meeting. I walked up to the church and stood infront of the door, not sure if I should go in. I started to cry like how did I get here!? I tried to open the door and it was locked! I walked around and saw someone getting out of a car and asked is there a meeting here? She was like Yes. Then she started talking to me that it was her sixth meeting. The woman who led our group was a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic. She gave me insight of what he is doing. Realized Alcoholism isn't just about the drink. Thanks for the encouragement. I hope that not by not walking away for good, I won't just get hurt again. But it is up to the universe! Thanks again.

Very true

However, I have found about the only thing I do have control over in the whole world though is my own recovery, and for some strange reason I get hurt about 98% less when I do "take action" for me.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The only thing I can change is me and the choices I make and it helps to have them be "informed" choices as opposed to them being "unconscious" choices, and the only way for that to happen for me is to do "work" on myself.

For me that is the steps and therapy, and It's not passive, there is a LOT of writing and action, action and more action, such as attending meetings, passing it on, working with others, as my Father says, "Son If you play on the freeway, trucks will run you over, it may behoove you to learn how to get off the freeway because what you were doing obviously wasn't working.

Good luck, keep us "posted" <-----incredibly witty pun...did you see that? hahahaha hohohoho hahahah

ummm......sorry......

OK, back to our regularly scheduled broadcast

Happy New Year and Good Luck :nyb