I did it! I left him, on Christmas.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: ny
Posts: 41
I did it! I left him, on Christmas.
I had plans of leaving my AH, but was going to wait until next week so it would be after the holoidays. However, plans went a little differently.
yesterday, it was almost like he was picking a fight with me, a fight that I couldn't back down from. He was trying to control the situation and I called him out on it. He then told me he didn't like the way I was talking to him. Like a subbordiante or something. (which is untrue and a poke at owning my own business)
So I didn't let him get away with the manipulatoin that happends each other time. I stood my ground, and told him I was unhappy and thought I should come stay with my mother for a little while.
So that's where Im am now...with my mother and I'm going to lose my mind!!! But I'm happy I was abel to get out.
yesterday, it was almost like he was picking a fight with me, a fight that I couldn't back down from. He was trying to control the situation and I called him out on it. He then told me he didn't like the way I was talking to him. Like a subbordiante or something. (which is untrue and a poke at owning my own business)
So I didn't let him get away with the manipulatoin that happends each other time. I stood my ground, and told him I was unhappy and thought I should come stay with my mother for a little while.
So that's where Im am now...with my mother and I'm going to lose my mind!!! But I'm happy I was abel to get out.
Hugs and more hugs to you, tiredlady. I know how hard it was for you to get to this point.
Can you get a good night's sleep, eat your favorite foods, take lots of "you" time, and generally take all the time you need to clear your head and heart?
I hope so. Congratulations on doing what was right for YOU.
Can you get a good night's sleep, eat your favorite foods, take lots of "you" time, and generally take all the time you need to clear your head and heart?
I hope so. Congratulations on doing what was right for YOU.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I ended my relationship on my 45th birthday. I didn't plan it to happen on that day, either. I can't think of a better birthday or Christmas gift than the gift of a new beginning. The possibilities are endless.
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: ny
Posts: 41
Thank you all! Its funny because everyone I have spoken to recently has said I sound relieved. That really tells me I made the right move. Now I just need to take care of getting a better living situation for myself and kids. I have a 1 year old and 4 year old and the three of us are at my mothers and its not going very smoothly. haha. My mother is definitley not ready to have kids back in her house.
My husband called and offered to move out of our house, but if I stay there I am worried about him drinking all night and coming back to the house in the middle of the night. he aslo has two other children that I know he would rather I was taking care of for him. I just don't think I should stay at our house...its opening up the door for him to think we will get back together.
what do you all think?
My husband called and offered to move out of our house, but if I stay there I am worried about him drinking all night and coming back to the house in the middle of the night. he aslo has two other children that I know he would rather I was taking care of for him. I just don't think I should stay at our house...its opening up the door for him to think we will get back together.
what do you all think?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 46
You've answered your own question and that's a good thing. You are making a change and he'll try any angle to bring things back to what WAS his comfort zone. I hope you maintain your ground. Stay strong!
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I think it's a wise choice not to move back into your previous home for all the reasons you shared. Plus a new home offers you the opportunity to create a comfortable sanctuary just for you and your children.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: ny
Posts: 41
Yes, I think you guys are right. I am going to pull some sort of a miracle off today and get an apartment today. I doubt it will happen, but I sort of feel like I can pull anything off at this point. haha just kidding. But I do know, if I stay here with my mother it will effect my decision to leave as well. Its not the right support system here.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: columbus ohio
Posts: 43
Tiredlady you are one step ahead of me and I hope I can do the same very soon. I hope all goes well and you keep us up to date on all the wonderful things that are going to happen to you. I will also be going to my parents house when I make my move. Take every moment of peace and quiet you can and enjoy!!!
I am so happy for you TiredLady. Hang in there, I hear you that staying with your mom is not ideal. But you will make the right move as soon as you are able. You have done so much already. Hang tough and trust your instincts. You can do this, you can have a better life.
tiredlady,
We'll all send along power and prayers to make that "miracle" happen for you today or very soon. It's great to have a sanctuary. It's like a quiet space opens up where you can hear yourself think & feel again.
Hugs,
GL
We'll all send along power and prayers to make that "miracle" happen for you today or very soon. It's great to have a sanctuary. It's like a quiet space opens up where you can hear yourself think & feel again.
Hugs,
GL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pac Northwest
Posts: 95
Thank you all! Its funny because everyone I have spoken to recently has said I sound relieved. That really tells me I made the right move. Now I just need to take care of getting a better living situation for myself and kids. I have a 1 year old and 4 year old and the three of us are at my mothers and its not going very smoothly. haha. My mother is definitley not ready to have kids back in her house.
My husband called and offered to move out of our house, but if I stay there I am worried about him drinking all night and coming back to the house in the middle of the night. he aslo has two other children that I know he would rather I was taking care of for him. I just don't think I should stay at our house...its opening up the door for him to think we will get back together.
what do you all think?
My husband called and offered to move out of our house, but if I stay there I am worried about him drinking all night and coming back to the house in the middle of the night. he aslo has two other children that I know he would rather I was taking care of for him. I just don't think I should stay at our house...its opening up the door for him to think we will get back together.
what do you all think?
Feeling relief is a sign that you are ready for change. It feels very liberating doesn't it?
You simply KNOW your boundaries and what you'll put up with (and won't).
You're on your way....
Best of luck
To be honest, I made my Husband move out, I was not about to let him take what my children knew as ther home away, I'm stubborn that way, I just felt he had the problem the kids should not have to give up there home. Now I owned my home, not free a clear but it was mine and I fought real hard to keep it, we stayed for about a year after he left. Then I put the house up for sale and moved into a smaller one, but this way the kids were told about the move and were comfortable with it. My ex never once thought it was a way to get back into my life, he felt the same as I did, that the kids should not have to give it up.
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