lost sue

Well, I made my bed, I guess I am going to have to sleep in it! I let the girls do all the unwrapping without their dad now we are going on our second day without talking. I guess that is better than yelling and being nasty to one another. I want to just scream!!! I look at him and want to throw up!! I wish I could say " I am done with you and all your crap" I guess that day will come. I hope it is soon. My oldest daughter dropped a bomb on me and told me she is expecting. Of course she is 20, living at home and has a job. I didn't need this on top of all the other things I have going on. I don't want her to go live with him, he is like her dad!!! Can I have one more thing go wrong?

Still Waters

Oh my. Well, little ones are a blessing Sue.

I saw the absolute cutest little seat cushions for kids the other day, and I don't know anyone with a little one to buy them for!!! (as if I had any money, sigh)

That old saying, "God doesn't put more on your plate than you can handle" I believe is true.

Stay strong, sounds like you're taking care of yourself and letting him reap the rewards of his choices, this can only be a good thing.

prodigal

I used to vent and yell and carry on with my AH. Got me nowhere, just made me feel worse an hour or so later. So why the silent treatment? Get in his face and talk nice to him.

I do it to my AH. It drives him absolutely nuts because I'm not doing what he expects his enabler to do; namely the cold shoulder, the injured victim, the angry woman. Heck, mine thinks I'm a b!tch from something I did six years ago. Amazingly funny to me. He can't remember when the last time was he ate or what he ate, but he's hanging onto his resentment like a dog hanging onto an old chewed-up bone.

And he uses crap like that to get a rise out of me. But, guess what? No rise! I let the silent treatment go out the window when I realized I was giving the A back complete responsibility for his addiction by being pleasant.

He owns his own crappy behaviors. And I don't allow those behaviors to dictate mine.

lost sue

prodigal,
Do you ever find when you talk nice, they think all is well? That is how it is at my house. I talk nice then he he thinks I am his best friend in all the world. He is now at the point where the only friends he has are at work. They think he is A#1 nice guy, which he is!! Until around 10pm and then he is a jerk. I found that my city has Alanon on Tuesdays and this week I will be going for my first meeting, I am also going to see if they have Alateen for my 12 year old. Maybe things will make sense for her after a few meetings. Thanks for all the support and good advice, I can use all I can get!

GiveLove

Good for you, sue. Try a few al-anon meetings (sometimes it takes more than one to find a good fit for you). And Alateen is a great idea too. Good luck