Brother not coming for Christmas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 80
Brother not coming for Christmas
My brother has not been in direct contact with my mother since he relapsed three weeks ago. I haven't seen him in in a couple of weeks, but have been in touch occasionally by phone and email. My Mom sent my brother a holiday card and invited him to Christmas dinner with her and me. I just got an email from him indicating he didn't feel it would be a good idea. I'm fine with his decision; he has a complicated relationship with my mother, and I think seeing her (and probably me, too) makes him feel anxious and depressed - both triggers for his drinking.
I think my Mom will be sad, however, and that makes me sad. I'll be glad when this crummy holiday season is behind us.
I think my Mom will be sad, however, and that makes me sad. I'll be glad when this crummy holiday season is behind us.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ladera Ranch,CA
Posts: 10
that can be rough man, i know where u r coming from though. there are and always have been similar situations in my life most of our family is an addict or an alcoholic. through the holidays there is some tension but i always just make the best of it no matter what
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I think one of the most powerful lessons that I learned was in spite of the choices that my oldest AD made, I could choose to have a good day or a bad day, a good holiday or a bad holiday.
We had a brutal cold front come through the other night, and on the local news they were showing a gentleman handing out gloves and hats to the homeless on the streets.
Sometimes I get so into self and what I perceive as insurmountable problems that I forget how truly blessed that I am.
When both of my girls still lived at home, during the holidays, we had a prayer box we made, and every evening, we would write someone on a slip of paper we would pray for that night-the homeless, children who went hungry that day, people with cancer, etc.
For me, this season isn't about what I get, it's about what I give.
We had a brutal cold front come through the other night, and on the local news they were showing a gentleman handing out gloves and hats to the homeless on the streets.
Sometimes I get so into self and what I perceive as insurmountable problems that I forget how truly blessed that I am.
When both of my girls still lived at home, during the holidays, we had a prayer box we made, and every evening, we would write someone on a slip of paper we would pray for that night-the homeless, children who went hungry that day, people with cancer, etc.
For me, this season isn't about what I get, it's about what I give.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Put your brother in a box and set him on the shelf for the next few days, Osakis, and try to enjoy your time with your mom for all it's worth. Show her how you feel, and try to find the beauty in your holiday with her. There will be some sadness, absolutely, but there can be an equal amount of joy if you put your mind to it.
Hugs,
GL
Hugs,
GL
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