Personal Update.
No Codie No More.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 155
Personal Update.
well alot has happened since I last been on here. I haven't seen alkie in weeks. kinda not back to normal with me mentally, depressed but am I still a codependent? nope. I haven't seen alkie yet I talk to her online and sometimes on the phone.
I started to hang out with one of her childhood friends, he realized, through me that "she just isnt good with alcohol" but shes a alcoholic. he known her since she was 14 but didnt know what was going on. he told me a few days ago that he thinks she drinks during the day on the low. I knew this for awhile yet he just found out? she must be better manipulator than I thought.
well monday I had school work to do but she wanted me to hang out with her and the friend I started hanging out with. I didn't go, she told me all she think was smoke yet I heard it from him that she got drunk really fast and he got introuble by his parent. he told me he paid for the taxi and sent her home. well thats what she didn't tell me.
well she went to florida to disney world with her family because her father had a business meeting. well from what I heard through her friend that she got drunk when she went there and her mother took away her phone. this girl is 21 yet still gets her phone taken away? then she calls me socially immature.
she told me she had a anxiety\amnemic attack and collasped yet I knew it didnt sound right but just went along with it.
now I know she doesn't tell me shes been drinking.
well I begun taking a stand against her, telling her what she does to me or take a firm stand on her manipulating techniques.
she called me friday (apparently she got her phone back) and asked me to go clubbing. I never went clubbing but especially going with her would be a issue, but I have a paper to due so I told her I had to do that, I told her that monday I had one but I would be finish thursday.. the professor moved the day up so I had til monday.
well she said I'm lying to her because I said I would be free after thurs yet I still had things to do, told me she was tired of "my bullshyt", went to insult me yet the cellphone signal was buzzy so I didnt hear most of it. I called her back and I told her I wasn't lying.. she said the same thing again and hangs up but!! this time I'm not chasing her, I'm not saying I'm sorry and drop what I have to do so I could just drive her and see her get drunk, get into a fight with her because I have to be up at work at 530 while its 4am and she still wants to party. I just put my phone down and went back to work.
thats what I call some emotional detachment.
I deserve the right to be selfish, I have to look out for #1 because no one else will look out for me, if she doesn't like it, theres the door. (kind of a self rant)
I started to hang out with one of her childhood friends, he realized, through me that "she just isnt good with alcohol" but shes a alcoholic. he known her since she was 14 but didnt know what was going on. he told me a few days ago that he thinks she drinks during the day on the low. I knew this for awhile yet he just found out? she must be better manipulator than I thought.
well monday I had school work to do but she wanted me to hang out with her and the friend I started hanging out with. I didn't go, she told me all she think was smoke yet I heard it from him that she got drunk really fast and he got introuble by his parent. he told me he paid for the taxi and sent her home. well thats what she didn't tell me.
well she went to florida to disney world with her family because her father had a business meeting. well from what I heard through her friend that she got drunk when she went there and her mother took away her phone. this girl is 21 yet still gets her phone taken away? then she calls me socially immature.
she told me she had a anxiety\amnemic attack and collasped yet I knew it didnt sound right but just went along with it.
now I know she doesn't tell me shes been drinking.
well I begun taking a stand against her, telling her what she does to me or take a firm stand on her manipulating techniques.
she called me friday (apparently she got her phone back) and asked me to go clubbing. I never went clubbing but especially going with her would be a issue, but I have a paper to due so I told her I had to do that, I told her that monday I had one but I would be finish thursday.. the professor moved the day up so I had til monday.
well she said I'm lying to her because I said I would be free after thurs yet I still had things to do, told me she was tired of "my bullshyt", went to insult me yet the cellphone signal was buzzy so I didnt hear most of it. I called her back and I told her I wasn't lying.. she said the same thing again and hangs up but!! this time I'm not chasing her, I'm not saying I'm sorry and drop what I have to do so I could just drive her and see her get drunk, get into a fight with her because I have to be up at work at 530 while its 4am and she still wants to party. I just put my phone down and went back to work.
thats what I call some emotional detachment.
I deserve the right to be selfish, I have to look out for #1 because no one else will look out for me, if she doesn't like it, theres the door. (kind of a self rant)
Last edited by drained22; 12-13-2008 at 03:28 PM. Reason: additional information
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Interesting. Why did you take up with one of her childhood friends? It's a creative way to keep tabs on her, follow her every movement, and claim you're no longer obsessed. Yet your entire post is still about her.
Have you tried Alanon yet?
Have you tried Alanon yet?
No Codie No More.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 155
well we met one time we hung out, I don't bring her up. he asks me to come over, I don't ask,he usually tells me but I could care less anymore. obviously she will come up from time to time yet its not like it once was.
why do I need to follow her every movement? She goes out every night, gets drunk and repeats the process. If I really wanted to see her I'll just call her.
of course the post is about her, this is a alcoholic forum and I'm in the process of emotionally detaching. I learned that I give my emotions to fast and too easily to anyone. I don't let them earn it. I learned that not to care what other people think, think I'm worth something and be kind of cold hearted and not let everything get to me.
normally I would txt msg her and call her when we argue but not anymore. big change.
I started talking to a female friend that I met through her, we hung out one time, she goes to a university 5 minutes away (literally down the block). I was suppose to hang out with her last night but had school work to do so I cancelled yet I will once I have time.
have I met a special someone who made me forget her? obviously not, will I have a future with this new woman? I could care less, whatever happens happens. before I be paranoid if she wanted to hang out, liked me but I could care less. its not worth it anymore to make a big deal over it.
why do I need to follow her every movement? She goes out every night, gets drunk and repeats the process. If I really wanted to see her I'll just call her.
of course the post is about her, this is a alcoholic forum and I'm in the process of emotionally detaching. I learned that I give my emotions to fast and too easily to anyone. I don't let them earn it. I learned that not to care what other people think, think I'm worth something and be kind of cold hearted and not let everything get to me.
normally I would txt msg her and call her when we argue but not anymore. big change.
I started talking to a female friend that I met through her, we hung out one time, she goes to a university 5 minutes away (literally down the block). I was suppose to hang out with her last night but had school work to do so I cancelled yet I will once I have time.
have I met a special someone who made me forget her? obviously not, will I have a future with this new woman? I could care less, whatever happens happens. before I be paranoid if she wanted to hang out, liked me but I could care less. its not worth it anymore to make a big deal over it.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
This is the friends and family of alcoholic's forum. It's where friends and families of alcoholics learn how to focus on themselves, not their alcoholic loved one. Focusing on my alcoholic loved one drove me nearly insane. My life improved drastically when I started to focus only on myself.
Do you think it'd be easier to move on if you didn't hear constant updates from her childhood friend? Do you have friends who are not attached to your ex girlfriend?
So the new potential girlfriend is also a friend of your ex-girlfriend? Do you see a pattern here? Do you attend Alanon? If not, are you afraid to try it? Afraid to move forward? What could it hurt?
Do you think it'd be easier to move on if you didn't hear constant updates from her childhood friend? Do you have friends who are not attached to your ex girlfriend?
So the new potential girlfriend is also a friend of your ex-girlfriend? Do you see a pattern here? Do you attend Alanon? If not, are you afraid to try it? Afraid to move forward? What could it hurt?
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