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my friend is an alcoholic...PLEASE HELP

Old 12-09-2008, 09:37 PM
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Unhappy my friend is an alcoholic...PLEASE HELP


Hi... I need advice... my friend.. (only have known for a few months... long story) is an alcoholic. I KNOW I cant change that.. only she can. She is going thru a divorce. (abusive husband.. and still is trying to control her) She has 3 kids... and when not drinking... an excellent mom.
If it werent for her children, I would walk away. I dont know how to handle this/her/ or the situation. Her mother, who is older, lives about an hour away and has no idea what to do either.
When she drinks.. she doesnt take the time to feed kids, etc. She leaves it up to the oldest (13 yr old)
The kids call me, she calls me.. I would do anything to help her... but I also dont want to be her "enabler"....
any suggestions?
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Old 12-10-2008, 06:19 AM
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crysionkia,

Welcome to SR. This is such a tough problem.

You are so right that she needs to do this herself. She needs to realize she has a problem, seek help, and work a program of recovery. You cannot do this for her, no matter how sad her situation seems. Has she even admitted she has a drinking problem? Does she want help?

Speaking as an adult child of alcoholics, if her children are truly being mistreated or neglected, you need to contact child protective services. They are pawns in this little drama and have no choice in the matter. You acting as someone else's children's rescue-ranger is not a good situation for you at all, and only draws you further into a situation that you cannot control and cannot cure.

Al-Anon meetings helped me to get the tools I needed to detach from the alcoholics in my life with love. If you have a meeting near you, you may find an amazing amount of support and wisdom there, from other people who care about an alcoholic and are trying to do the right thing.

Hugs,
GL
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