Today was my birthday...mixed feelings about things.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Today was my birthday...mixed feelings about things.
So, today was my birthday and for the most part, it was good, but mixed with a good amount of sadness.
I got to work and everyone was very nice and excited it was my b-day. I worked for a little while, then we all went and got lunch. I was nice to hang out with them in a non-drinking setting. They like to drink! Anyway, the partner I work with the most bought me a really nice gift. I have an iphone that is not supposed to be on at work, but every once in a while I cheat and listen to music while I work. He loves his ipod, so to not technically cheat at work, he bought me and ipod dock that has speakers so I can cheat and listen to music, but not cheat. The managing partner that doesn't want my phone on at work doesn't know the difference. I was really happy to get the gift, but at the same time, the adult child of an alcoholic came out and didn't want to accept the gift because, of course, I'm not worthy of it. Then I thought about crawling under the table for being happy he bought it for me. I went to his office and said thank you, and even started to say it was too nice a gift, but stopped myself and just said thank you again and accepted someone was doing something nice for my birthday. So there was some growth!
After lunch...back to work. Then, someone went and got a huge ice cream cake and they had a party for me in the conference room and all sang happy birthday to me. We all hung out for a while and laughed. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. It was a good break from all the crying I've been doing the last week and a half.
After work, I went out to dinner with one of my best friends, Emily, to a great thai place in the city. Then we went and got cupcakes from this very yummy bakery.
When I got home and turned my phone back on, I had a ton of messages! It made my birthday even more special. I even heard from friends I haven't talked to in a long time.
So, one person I didn't hear from was my ex. This is where the sadness part comes in. I didn't expect to hear from him, but I was still sad about it. There is nothing I can do, but it still made me sad. My vow is that next year, my the entire day will be wonderful.
I have therapy on Thursday. I've spent a lot of time this year getting to know myself, so it will be great to get back a little bit older and a little bit wiser than I was last year. I still have some work to do, but really feel like this is my year. No pressure, just a lot of hope.
Thanks again for all your support the past couple of days. It means a lot!
I got to work and everyone was very nice and excited it was my b-day. I worked for a little while, then we all went and got lunch. I was nice to hang out with them in a non-drinking setting. They like to drink! Anyway, the partner I work with the most bought me a really nice gift. I have an iphone that is not supposed to be on at work, but every once in a while I cheat and listen to music while I work. He loves his ipod, so to not technically cheat at work, he bought me and ipod dock that has speakers so I can cheat and listen to music, but not cheat. The managing partner that doesn't want my phone on at work doesn't know the difference. I was really happy to get the gift, but at the same time, the adult child of an alcoholic came out and didn't want to accept the gift because, of course, I'm not worthy of it. Then I thought about crawling under the table for being happy he bought it for me. I went to his office and said thank you, and even started to say it was too nice a gift, but stopped myself and just said thank you again and accepted someone was doing something nice for my birthday. So there was some growth!
After lunch...back to work. Then, someone went and got a huge ice cream cake and they had a party for me in the conference room and all sang happy birthday to me. We all hung out for a while and laughed. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. It was a good break from all the crying I've been doing the last week and a half.
After work, I went out to dinner with one of my best friends, Emily, to a great thai place in the city. Then we went and got cupcakes from this very yummy bakery.
When I got home and turned my phone back on, I had a ton of messages! It made my birthday even more special. I even heard from friends I haven't talked to in a long time.
So, one person I didn't hear from was my ex. This is where the sadness part comes in. I didn't expect to hear from him, but I was still sad about it. There is nothing I can do, but it still made me sad. My vow is that next year, my the entire day will be wonderful.
I have therapy on Thursday. I've spent a lot of time this year getting to know myself, so it will be great to get back a little bit older and a little bit wiser than I was last year. I still have some work to do, but really feel like this is my year. No pressure, just a lot of hope.
Thanks again for all your support the past couple of days. It means a lot!
You have some very nice people in your life.Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 92
It sounds like you had acknowledgement on your birthday that there are alot of people who care about you. That's good to focus on.
I know it's sad to not hear from your ex on your birthday and I will be experiencing the same thing in a few days on my birthday, as well. I know that even though I'm sure he won't call, I'll still be half expecting it.
Good to hear that you were able to enjoy your day anyway and make positive goals for the year to come.
I know it's sad to not hear from your ex on your birthday and I will be experiencing the same thing in a few days on my birthday, as well. I know that even though I'm sure he won't call, I'll still be half expecting it.
Good to hear that you were able to enjoy your day anyway and make positive goals for the year to come.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 303
NYC Chickadee!!!
Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Dear NYC Chickadee, Happy Birthday to You!!!
Sounds like you have many great people in your life.
Sounds like the "Law of Attraction" is working in your life!!!
You Rock!
6
Shivaya
Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Dear NYC Chickadee, Happy Birthday to You!!!
Sounds like you have many great people in your life.
Sounds like the "Law of Attraction" is working in your life!!!
You Rock!
6Shivaya
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cali
Posts: 48
happy happy birthday! think happy thoughts! 2009 is around the corner and its a fresh lease on life. that is what i am trying to tell myself too!! believe and hope!
its been a week since my raxbf and i broke up. he was suppose to email me to discuss the exchange of belongings so i still look at the phone...i am hoping that one day i wont. hang in there!
its been a week since my raxbf and i broke up. he was suppose to email me to discuss the exchange of belongings so i still look at the phone...i am hoping that one day i wont. hang in there!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
It sounds like it was a good day. Sometimes gifts are wrapped strangely and we can't always tell that they are gifts.... perhaps NOT hearing from your ex was a nice gift.
Happy belated birthday!
Happy belated birthday!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 444
NYC - what an awesome birthday. I find myself with similar feelings about there being "the one" person whose love will make me complete. This really helped me:
Courage to Change - December 5 (edited slightly):
I was sure there had to be somebody in this world who would understand my every mood, always have time for me, and bring a smile to my face. When that individual appared I'd finally have the love I deserved. . . .
When I thought about how much I had to be grateful for, my fantasy showed itself to be no more than a shadow. Reality presented a different picture entirely. There were my friends, the child who comes to me with so much trust, the co-worker who reaches out in friendship . . . . What was I doing with their love? It seemed to me I was brushing it aside for that one imaginary person or, worse, not noticing it at all.
Today's reminder: If I can't recognize the love that already exists in my life, would I really appreciate receiving more?
Courage to Change - December 5 (edited slightly):
I was sure there had to be somebody in this world who would understand my every mood, always have time for me, and bring a smile to my face. When that individual appared I'd finally have the love I deserved. . . .
When I thought about how much I had to be grateful for, my fantasy showed itself to be no more than a shadow. Reality presented a different picture entirely. There were my friends, the child who comes to me with so much trust, the co-worker who reaches out in friendship . . . . What was I doing with their love? It seemed to me I was brushing it aside for that one imaginary person or, worse, not noticing it at all.
Today's reminder: If I can't recognize the love that already exists in my life, would I really appreciate receiving more?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
dont feel bad about not hearing from your ex, my experiance they dont call, they dont view holidays the same way as normal people, my xah ran off at different times so he missed birthdays, christmas, thanksgiving, valentines day, and never called on those days, i dont think its personal i think they are just idiots :bounce
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Thanks everyone!
Yesterday was nice break from my reality. Today was difficult. I started re-reading a book this morning and started cry on the train on the way to work. I also kept my office door closed today for the entire day and cried some more. I'm drained, but tomorrow is another day and therapy...thank God!
Yesterday really was a gift in many ways. I'm still not sure him not calling was one of them. Maybe someday I will feel that way. Maybe he is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
One fun thing happened today. I have a facebook profile. My last name is Beligan, but my grandparents were polish and Irish. Someone on facebook contacted me. He thinks we are related and is checking into the family tree. He gave me some information on the region where my name comes from in Belgium. I guess I also have a french background. It was a good distraction.
The b-day celebrations will continue this weekend. Emily, my friend who took me out last night, is having her b-day on Saturday so we are going out to celebrate. I've also been doing more with photography, so I'm going to go shooting around the city this weekend. Hopefully that will help keep my mind off of things.
Thank you all again!
Yesterday was nice break from my reality. Today was difficult. I started re-reading a book this morning and started cry on the train on the way to work. I also kept my office door closed today for the entire day and cried some more. I'm drained, but tomorrow is another day and therapy...thank God!
Yesterday really was a gift in many ways. I'm still not sure him not calling was one of them. Maybe someday I will feel that way. Maybe he is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
One fun thing happened today. I have a facebook profile. My last name is Beligan, but my grandparents were polish and Irish. Someone on facebook contacted me. He thinks we are related and is checking into the family tree. He gave me some information on the region where my name comes from in Belgium. I guess I also have a french background. It was a good distraction.
The b-day celebrations will continue this weekend. Emily, my friend who took me out last night, is having her b-day on Saturday so we are going out to celebrate. I've also been doing more with photography, so I'm going to go shooting around the city this weekend. Hopefully that will help keep my mind off of things.
Thank you all again!
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