Somebody...anybody...SMACK ME!!!
 

Long story short – I heard from him over the weekend. Answered his FIRST call (unavailable #) – he says it was wrong number and he was sorry for calling me but still has me on his #1 speed dial. I said ok and hung up. However, he kept calling back and I kept hitting ignore. Then while I was out with friends at a bar listening to a band – I started drinking and drunk dialed him back and as far as I can remember – I gave him a piece of my mind. He kept telling me that he still loves me and that was hard to hear. Yes I drank way too much so I can’t really remember everything I said but I know I used the “f” word a lot and I’m pretty sure he was crying by the time we hung up. I just hope that I didn’t tell him that I loved him – that makes me sick at my stomach to think about.

Today I’m depressed and I feel like I’ve take a few steps back. I am almost 6 months out from this and was doing SO well. Yes I’m still in love with him but I was doing what was right for me to move on and past it all. Now this! I’m back to feeling hurt, sad, pi$$ed and depressed over him and am even having moments of MISSING HIM. YUCK.

Please anyone that is struggling with “no contact” – BE STRONG! Don’t give in….it’s SO not worth the heartache. Try to learn from my stupid, inebriated mistake!:a043:

Been there done that! I agree huge mistake. But we are human.

I did a similar thing but only via email, asking him to tell me the truth about OW. This happened late at night. In the morning I sent him an email saying it was a mistake to send this to him, I don't want to know, what's done is done, nothing can change the past - told him not to contact me ever again and wished him true sobriety and happiness.

So far no contact and I've gone to extremes to block all email and phones from him. It's working and every day it gets easier, I actually go all day now without thinking about him and the 24 years we were together.

Don't beat yourself up and remember baby steps - K.

For a brief...very brief second I thought about texting him and telling him to forget everything I said to him the other night but I won't do that. I can't. I'm just going to chalk it up to a stupidity moment and continue on.

It's weird because during the past couple of months I wondered if maybe, just maybe he still loved me (why I need to know that i don't really know) and hearing him say it the other night just crushed my soul over again. So be careful what you ask for.

Yeah it really does no me no good to hear someone that treated me like dirt to tell me, or others, that he loves me. It's not true anyway as far as I'm concerned. If you love someone you don't put substances above them, lie to them,etc....
I don't really get what they get out of saying it. I run into old friends that still tell me XABF tells them he still loves me. Whatever. It's been almost four years. he's drinking himself into his grave with his disgusting pig of a girlfriend and subjecting an innocent child to their drunken chaos and drama. How the hell can anyone like that love someone else????? they are useless, meaningless, self serving words.

I kinda feel like my ex does it so that I'll take him back and he can continue taking advantage of me. It does hurt, and it is incedibly hard to hear. Hang in there lovetolaff.
It's a temporary pain.

You might want to take a look at just why you decided to do this.