ReadyToHelp

Hi Everyone!

Thank you so much for all of your insight and feedback, advice and compassion. It's been great reading the messages. They are stern, strong, encouraging, brutally honest, and caring.

My ABF came home from his waiter job the night before Thanksgiving at around midnight. He had money in his shirt pocket that reeked of perfume. At first I thought it was a woman, so I got really mad, but saved it until after Thanksgiving dinner. I remained calm, but very accusatory. I wish I hadn't said anything, because now that I think of it - the smell was so concentrated, that the perfume had to be sprayed directly onto the money. The rest of his shirt did not smell of perfume, and there was no makeup on it. His coat smelled slightly of it, on the left shoulder only. No place else on any of his clothing. I felt like a dog sniffing my abf's clothing. (Degrading.)



Any ideas? He said he didn't smell anything (he chews tobacco and it's affected his ability to smell and taste), and didn't seem concerned about my questioning.

I spoke to someone in the law enforcement business and he said that perfume is sprayed onto money to throw off dogs from smelling drug money. I didn't really get it, but he told me to not worry about it. It's nothing.

Any comments?

Thank you!

~Ready

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Taking5

Titty bar? Was it a bunch of ones and how were they folded?

baileyboop

I'd be wondering if I were in your shoes... : (

Barbara52

If I found myself sniffing my BF's clothes, I be wondering just what my problem was and why I was in that relationship even one more hour. Before you take that the wrong way, if I had suspicions my BF was involved with another woman or involved with drugs, I wouldn't be sniffing his clothes to try to verify anything. I'd be asking myself why I am with this man if I don't trust him. For me trust is an absolute requirement in a relationship. If I don't trust (evidenced by the sniffing his clothes), I don't belong in that relationhip.

Freedom1990

What are you getting out of the relationship?

embraced2000

well ready, i agree with barbara.

having said that, i will tell you that i have done the same thing in the throes of my own addiction.....being addicted to my xah.

you wouldn't believe some of the things i did trying to outwit him and track him like a hound dog.

all my actions did was keep me locked in on the merry go round of insanity. once i realized that i needed to break the vicious cycle of my own insanity, i started concentrating on myself and things got a lot better for me.

i'll share this story for you to show you how insane i got.

i spotted my ex's truck at a local motel. i was crushed. i called a tow truck and had the truck towed home. i beat the tow truck home and was waiting anxiously and sickly in the drive way. up pulls my hubbies sister with my hub in the car with her. up the road comes the tow truck with the truck in tow.

i was so confused! sis-in-law says-------thanks for letting jessie (her adult daughter) borrow the truck. her car broke down today, she has a new job as a desk clerk at the motel and she had to get to work. T (xah) brought the truck over for her to use, and i'm bringing him home.

then, the tow truck pulls up with the truck in tow. imagine what that was like. i burst out into tears and blubbered like crazy. i knew then that i was getting just plain crazy.

we took the truck back to the motel for my niece.

Abundance

When I'm in my snooping mode that is SO much harder to quit than quitting smoking......... the above is what goes through my mind....... but more importantly....... what in the hell is wrong with me? UGH - the worst character defect of mine that just rears it's ugly head during these times. Flipping frustrating.

I came across this post because I was searching "sniffing".........as my abf now snorts his subutex and all i hear is sniffing afterwards...... and it just makes me lose so much respect for him. And really - for myself. Cause in all reality - I should just be glad that he isn't using period... it's like picking my battles. Ya know?

Anyway - I'm supposed to be doing christmas decorations right now - but instead now feel real heavy and like crying. I am going to psyche myself out of this funk!

Embrace...... that story made me giggle... but I totally get it. I can't tell you how many times that same thing has happened to me..... in different degrees and ways!

Taking control of other situations in which we are powerless........ really and I mean REALLY know how to come back to us and throw it in our face! Thank goodness too ......... to suffer the natural consequences that come with our behavior in times when we are in RE actionary mode with our addicts.

Peace and Love to you all........... xoxoxo

ReadyToHelp

Thank you for your comments. I forgot I posted this one. Sorry.

Well, please see my new thread - called Almost Ready...