husband has agreed again to seek treatment
 

The last time i was on here was a year ago. I'm not sure why i stopped getting on, maybe it was because he was on deployment and other then the "drunken phone calls" I really didn't have to deal with it. Maybe for a while I was just trying to pretend it would go away. Needless to say the day came where he was back home, and my life with my AH was back in full swing. he's been home for a few months and the drinking was as dominant in our lives as ever. A couple of weeks ago after yet another night of getting wasted, I told him i thought we should seperate. That I just could not raise our son with an alcoholic. Our son just turned 4 and is making comments about the drinking and the holes in the wall. So for a few days we talked about it, but then he says , I think its pointless to seperate we should just get a divorce. So This whole time i've been looking for another place to live, tried to find a new job, etc. So this past Sunday he goes out fishing with his buddies, and comes home WASTED, I been just falling everywhere, slobbering, punching the walls, etc. I went to pick him up and brought him home, like i always do, to protect him and the general public from drinking and driving, he was walking from his friends house down the sidewalk with a bag of beer in his hand, when we got home i said I want you to know that if I had known that you left your friends house and was stupid enough to walk on base(we live on a military base) with the beer in your hand that i would have let him walk. I wouldn't have come to get him. That i was tired of bailing him out every freaking time! he said he was leaving and so i locked him out, he started kicking the door, i let him in and told him he needed to find a place to stay that night because he was not allowed to stay. If he didn't leave i'd call the cops. i called his friends to come and get him when they got here he lost it just started bawling and said no one was taking him from his son. I tried to tell him that he could see our boy anytime he wasnt drinking.... moving on to the next day. he came home from muster, and said that he wanted to get sober, he's found an e-aa group here online and is excited about it. We have decided it is best for our situation to stay together, but he knows that the next time I catch him drinking anything at all that i am leaving and taking our son. I am hopeful that this will work. But am still guarding my heart. he's promised so many times before that i just don't want to get hurt again. but he says he's scared to, he's scared that i'm still going to leave even if he does stay sober. I told him we had alot to work on and we just needed to give it time.


i wish all of you the best of luck! And am glad that I am back on this site to talk....

every victory is worth celebrating!

no matter how big or small!

I hope this is the beginning of sobriety for him. I hope you remember to take care of yourself regardless of what he does or does not do.

HIs ACTIONS, not his words will tell you whether he has found recovery and is working a recovery program.

In the meantime, sounds to me like some Alanon might help you also. Protecting him is not helping him. When he starts kicking the door, call the MPs, you do live on base. He is also going to have to explain all those "holes in the walls" to his CO.

These are the CONSEQUENCES of HIS ACTIONS. You cannot protect him from that. Those consequences will help bring him to his personal bottom sooner.

Please try Alanon, and yes there are meetings on your base, of that I have no doubt.

Please keep posting here and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care very much.

You are correct, your son should not have to see what is happening, and should you separate, the Military will make sure you get an allotment for child support.

J M H O

Love and hugs,