curious about some behavior
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Santa Rosa, California
Posts: 6
curious about some behavior
Ok...so the A in my life is treating me like I have a "problem", (as in I am sick in some way), since I've started to go to Alanon meetings....Like there was never a problem with anything until I "made up" this "thing" that I think is going on. Like his drinking is something in my head. And I've almost found myself believing him.
Is it common for A's to do this sort of manipulating reality? Or am I just so dense that I'm not seeing clearly?
Is it common for A's to do this sort of manipulating reality? Or am I just so dense that I'm not seeing clearly?
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Unfortunately, it's extremely common and expected. He's doing what we call "quacking", and it's his way of trying to keep you and himself in denial. Don't listen to him and keep going to your meetings. 
Hugs,
JG
Hugs,
JG
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ayer's Cliff, Quebec
Posts: 803
hahahhahahha "quacking".
Yes it's extremely common they are extremely manipulative. Keep readin ghere and going to Alanon meetings. It would be very convienient for him if he could get you to believe what he is saying.
Ngaire
Yes it's extremely common they are extremely manipulative. Keep readin ghere and going to Alanon meetings. It would be very convienient for him if he could get you to believe what he is saying.
Ngaire
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 330
I was sure that "I" was the crazy one! My ex could turn situations around and before it was all over I was apologizing to him for his using! That makes no sense I know, but it is what happened. It is in the alchoholic's handbook or something LOL.... just kidding. But it really is very common. Stick to your guns (not literally) and keep on going to meetings. We do call it quacking. It is fun to while he is doing that, recognize it, and then imagine he is saying quack, quack, quack etc.... Dont listen to him. Good luck!
LG
LG
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 211
Manipulation is the name of the game. If something is not right it is just so much easier to blame it on someone else!!!
If the meetings are helping then KEEP GOING! Keep coming here too. This place has really helped me.
NoDoubt
If the meetings are helping then KEEP GOING! Keep coming here too. This place has really helped me.
NoDoubt
Paused
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 39
"Quacking," huh? Wow, I never knew there was a name for it -- it fits perfectly It's amazing how these alcoholics are all exactly the same in these ways, isn't it? I can't even count the number of times I've been told that I'm crazy. It was to the point that it made me crazy!
It's amazing how these alcoholics are all exactly the same in these ways, isn't it? I can't even count the number of times I've been told that I'm crazy. It was to the point that it made me crazy!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: missouri
Posts: 95
Sometimes even after they sober up, they still act like that. They can't help that quacking sometimes. Out of the blue, mine would say, "I can't help it if others can't change like I have." I was on the defensive and wishing he would drink again. Just keep on working your program, that is what helped me deal with these issues.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
