Just venting about feeling so lonely and feeling reckless
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Freedom1990 
I'll chill when I see someone speaking up for the 11 year old in the situation because it's apparent no one is as of yet, no?
What I see is an adult woman, also the mother of this 11 year old child, upset about who the drunken father of the 11 year old daughter is ranting about vs. the fact her 11 year old daughter is not having visitation with a non-intoxicated father.
What's wrong with this picture?
What I see is an adult woman, also the mother of this 11 year old child, upset about who the drunken father of the 11 year old daughter is ranting about vs. the fact her 11 year old daughter is not having visitation with a non-intoxicated father.
What's wrong with this picture?
In fact, I was pretty much told by everyone here that I didn't have control over how my STBXAH parents while he has the children for visitation, which surprised me coming from this board.
I didn't post my about of daughter and what had happened because #1, after the reaction I got from the last child-related post, it felt kind of redundant.
#2 - it was a post about myself and my feelings that I needed to get out in a group people where I had thought there would be some support & understanding.
Sometimes it does need to be about me. Sometimes I do need to think of myself. That's been a major problem for me my whole life - always, always thinking about others and their feelings- never about my own.
And for your interest, lest I be awarded the "Ms. Neglectful, Uncaring Mother of the Year 2008" around here, this was a special overnight visit with all of her older siblings there overnight (ages 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 18 and 20yo) too, a few in from 2 hours away.
They were all there in order to spend the night and then the next day the plan was to everyone help make an early Thanksgiving Dinner there. The whole thing was ruined of course, by his going out and getting smashed which resulted in him sleeping the next day away. They ended up ordering Mexican take -out.
He also spent all of that weeks child support money at the bar. Of course thats another story...
Please spend some time reading my history before jumping in and judging me. Also, assuming is never good, you don't know the whole story. You don't know all my thoughts or my actions, this original post was about one part of the whole situation. Thanks.
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
I guess I am the oddball here because the first thing that crossed my mind wasn't what he was saying in front of your 11 year old daughter, but why is your 11 year old daughter spending the night with a parent who is coming home drunk at 3 in the morning?
Color me blunt but I wouldn't be reacting with fantasies about dressing in a killer outfit going to a bar but I'd be livid and working on not having my 11 year old in an environment with a drunken parent.
Color me blunt but I wouldn't be reacting with fantasies about dressing in a killer outfit going to a bar but I'd be livid and working on not having my 11 year old in an environment with a drunken parent.
You sure do assume quite a bit here.
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by FormerDoormat
Oh Lord, when I read the words, "I'm feeling reckless," it brought back flashbacks in my mind of the old StrongerWoman. You know, the one who started fires outside her hubby's apartment and spun her car out in the middle of the road.
You've come a long way since then and you should be proud of your progress. I know it's hard work and lonely to start over and be on your own again. But slowly things will get better.
My body has gone to pot but I still have a supermodel's face. Perhaps we could put our best selves forward and go as one incredible looking gal! But how would we split up the men? I know what half I'd like....
You've come a long way since then and you should be proud of your progress. I know it's hard work and lonely to start over and be on your own again. But slowly things will get better.
My body has gone to pot but I still have a supermodel's face. Perhaps we could put our best selves forward and go as one incredible looking gal! But how would we split up the men? I know what half I'd like....
LOL!! Thanks! :o)
I do feel I have come a long way. No worries about anymore burning of wedding pics and love letters, I'm past all of that now.
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Ago
Personally I think Strongerwoman has an incredibly beautiful and compelling face, and I'm happy to say so.
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by kingston
I've felt the loneliness you describe but like Ago said I do positive things for me. I've made a point of doing interesting things, sometimes with friends sometimes alone.
I've never felt the same kind of loneliness that I experienced when I was "with" my AH though. That was true loneliness and I never want to be there again.
Be strong! Just like your name, K.
I've never felt the same kind of loneliness that I experienced when I was "with" my AH though. That was true loneliness and I never want to be there again.
Be strong! Just like your name, K.
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by anvilhead
as i read about how this drunken idiot came stumbling home from the bar, raving on and on about this "supermodel" i couldn't help but think of the ole saying....
A "2" at 10pm is a "10" at 2am.......for all we really know this "gorgeous creature" was a lot more CREATURE than gorgeous. which helps to remind us NEVER base our reality in the mindless babbling of a drunk......
A "2" at 10pm is a "10" at 2am.......for all we really know this "gorgeous creature" was a lot more CREATURE than gorgeous. which helps to remind us NEVER base our reality in the mindless babbling of a drunk......
I have never heard that before. But, oh so true, huh?!?!
Thanks, I shall keep that in mind, always!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 211
((((SW))))
When I read this bizarre thread earlier, I was thinking just what you were.
Last time you started a thread about how worried you are about your dd, everyone said you can't control what happens with during your AH's parenting time. Which is, unfortunately, true for now. Unless/until you can get a judge to rule otherwise.
I completely understand your feelings and think posting here is a much safer venue than actually going to the bar for male attention.
BTW, the other part of the fantasy--where you make yourself feel beautiful, dress up, indulge yourself a little--could be accomplished without going into debt, paying for a manicure, or doing something you regret later.
I hope you are able to take some time for yourself. It always helps me feel more together just to have a nice bath and relax, take some extra time getting ready, and then out for a good meal!
You sound like you are getting stronger all the time. Thank you for sharing!
When I read this bizarre thread earlier, I was thinking just what you were.
Last time you started a thread about how worried you are about your dd, everyone said you can't control what happens with during your AH's parenting time. Which is, unfortunately, true for now. Unless/until you can get a judge to rule otherwise.
I completely understand your feelings and think posting here is a much safer venue than actually going to the bar for male attention.
BTW, the other part of the fantasy--where you make yourself feel beautiful, dress up, indulge yourself a little--could be accomplished without going into debt, paying for a manicure, or doing something you regret later.
I hope you are able to take some time for yourself. It always helps me feel more together just to have a nice bath and relax, take some extra time getting ready, and then out for a good meal!
You sound like you are getting stronger all the time. Thank you for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 149
just because this particular post has to do with your feelings doesnt mean you dont have other resentments on behalf of your daughter. i totally understand. not so black or white.
i agree you are attractive and STRONG. im sorry about the holiday frustration. you'll get through this.
i agree you are attractive and STRONG. im sorry about the holiday frustration. you'll get through this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
