"alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages"
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 142
The universe has done you a favor. I am not being callous. I know your broken heart is very difficult to deal with and you are hurt and sad and bewildered. But (and this is a big one) the relationship you had was bad for you. And you could not walk away from it. Now you are out of harm's way. Hope that this person can get help for himself and be healthier and do well. Just do it from afar. I wish you well.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by loner1968 
To me it means they will do anything to keep their way of life from crumbling. They will tell you what you want to hear and also what they want you to hear. they can break you down little by little so you have no self esteem and you won't want to leave. They need someone, an enabler, to help them exist in their sick bubble. They talk down to you and you believe it.They say they love you and you believe it. They hit you and you apologize later.
Pretty soon your brain becomes just as sick as theirs. everything is twisted. Most times you could get up and leave when you felt like it was getting bad but not this time...you can't leave...there are a million reasons why you have to stay. None of them are real but you are convinced they are. Being a recovering codie I can look back and see that I was a hostage. I didn't think so at the time...I knew something was wrong...but I thought it was all me. I was a prisoner in an invisible jail that I unknowingly helped create.
That's what the phrase means to me.
Pretty soon your brain becomes just as sick as theirs. everything is twisted. Most times you could get up and leave when you felt like it was getting bad but not this time...you can't leave...there are a million reasons why you have to stay. None of them are real but you are convinced they are. Being a recovering codie I can look back and see that I was a hostage. I didn't think so at the time...I knew something was wrong...but I thought it was all me. I was a prisoner in an invisible jail that I unknowingly helped create.
That's what the phrase means to me.
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