How Can I Help My Daughter?Part 1
 

My daughter who is 41 years old, has been in short term revoery programs several times. I have always been so hopeful, only to get my "bubble popped" after she has been out for a short time.

She is on probation and did not finish her DUI classes before her probation was up. She only has one choice and that is a long term recovery program.
At times she gets so excited and makes calls, (at least she tells me that), and then will say, "I have done all of that" and decides not to go into a long term program.
She does not go to meetings.

She was living with me for 2 years and then went to another county to get help. At first she was excited about going into treatment however when she had to phone these 2 places each day to check in, she got impatient. She is not one to wait.

She does not belong in prison as she has had depression since having her son 23 years ago.

Your post makes me tired all over again. My son is 28....

You cannot do anything to get her sober...she has to that on her own. Long term programs ARE better than short term...they are dry longer and there is more intensive input over a longer period of time. Half-way houses after treatment are also effective. The alcoholic is living in a sober environment with restrictions while they get a job, work, attend meetings and put a life together.

Your daughter seems to be looking for a quick fix...ther isn't one.

In the mean time make yourself at home, get a copy of Melody Beatties "Codependent No More" and take care of yourself.

Hugs,
JT

It is so hard to set boundaries with your children. I am so unsure as to where to draw the line with my daughter. She is 20. She didn't start partying until she moved out in her senior year.
She says now she is trying to mend her ways, I think she perhaps drinks every other week, but is around people who drink alot. She has since, picked up a STD and someone has stolen her identity. I am not sure if she has trouble with alcohol, but more codependency issues. But my gut instinct says let her find her own way out of this mess. Then I start thinking of how many times I was bailed out before I got it together.
She has cut ties with a former roommate, who she liked to blame her troubles on. So that is a positive step.
But golly, it is the hardest thing to see them suffer.