Stop Being Surprised
 

The first time I read this it was posted by Minnie - I read somewhere that it's originator was the founder of this site:

It still amazes me what I expected from others, not just alcholics, and the reality of what unavailable people are able to give.

The first time I read this I felt like I needed a band aid. Ouch!

I love it when this is reposted. I don't care how long I've been in recovery - I always need this reminder!

Thanks Cagefree!!

Me too it is what it is. And sometimes I HAVE to go back "there"..even if it hurts. And it always does.

At LEAST ER and stitches for me! Ha! :skillet

Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug3
Coyote

Cage this is an awesome one! I have it saved and like to bump it once in awhile-It is in the stickies too-It is such an awesome reminder! :) Thanks!

Yeah, had this talk with someone tonight, and I used those very words, plan of action doesn't have to necessarily be AA of NA or whatever, but it obviously has to be something more than 'trust me'
Recalling the first time I read those words, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. :codiepolice:


Thanks, should try to bump this post on a regular basis, for folks like myself that are too lazy to read the stickies.

i hate that post but only because its so sad and so true

I think lots of us hate it on that deep, miserable-but-might-as-well-face-it level.

I wish it weren't so true.

Thanks Cagefree! I've never read that before but it is so perfect for what I needed to hear right now. I've always thought it was amazing that I lived with an A for 16 years and yet I allowed myself to keep being surprised each and every time.

OUCH!! Great post!!
Yes, I think a particularity of alcoholism is the ability for shock and surprise as someone else said. That is what brings you to your knees. I fell for about 4 times and after that it was enough! it is just the game of two selfish people / the addict and the martyr. Enablers and codependents are just thinking about how the addict will change back to the "sober wonderful version" and make US happy (in some level). The pain is greater for enablers or at least it seems so, as she remembers all that was painful, whereas the addict does not even remember many of those horrible moments, and he is just numbing himself until ....

A very, very sad dance.

Yep, it describes me perfectly before I found recovery in AA!

This has to be the most significant honest post that i ever read. it's a kick up the backside and in my situation that's exactly what i needed. This is one of the posts that helped me get where i am know. I LOVE IT..

Gill

Thank you. My alcoholic boyfriend left for a year - to be on his own to get sober. In May promised to be totally committed and to get sober back home (also had prostate cancer). We got married in June. I was not even letting myself see that his year away took him from middle to late stage. Spent the summer getting the cancer cured (and said he couldn't focus on the other issue until the treatment was over - anytime I brought it up he called me mean as after all he was a cancer patient). Sometimes it was hard to tell if his problems were from the radiation or alcohol..sometimes, not so hard it was clearly the drinking. Went to detox twice. Treatment for cancer was over. Time for something drastic...and indeed it was, he left.

How can I be so needy? How do people fill time? How does one feel "fulfilled" from the inside?

I've been to a few alanon meetings. Last year I started yoga and things and was close to over him. In fact, in March and April with phone calls I had said no to "temp" dates, if you will and so the May contact said exactly what I wanted.

What do I want now?

Love that codie police sign - need it on a shirt (or tattoo).

Thanks for listening.

Welcome, lb622, glad you're here!

Would you like to start you own thread with your questions? You might get more responses that way.

Al Anon was a godsend for me.

Keep posting!

thanks, I need to hear that post often myself. It really helps me not to take things personally.