cagefree

No one knew where I was this weekend except my parents and a friend of mine. I drove 2 hours to the middle of nowhere (which coincidently describes where I live as well).

When I walked inside and sat down, others came into the room and I immediately began talking with them...I suddenly became overly aware that I was on the verge of tears, yet insanely happy to be there - for the first time in my life I was in a room full of people and felt like I truly and instantly "belonged". Loneliness left, longing for greener grass left. I was hugging myself the entire time

Thank you for being brave and coming
Thank you for saving and spending money on you
Thank you for sharing and being honest

I met my inner child truly and openly for the first time - I cried for 3 hours - but let it out as I felt I was in a safe place to do so. I thought I had met her before - but I had not. The state in which I found her left me sobbing...She never spoke, though I knew what she was thinking...she had never had a voice, never allowed to feel, to have a differing opinion, show anger or displeasure in any way...and certainly never wanted to draw attention to herself. She was waiting for someone to find and rescue her.

What's more, I looked at myself through her eyes and was amazed at what I saw - I saw an angel...my first thought was - how could I be an angel? I have neglected myself and her in such ways I still feel twinges of regret and guilt. I bent down and scooped her in my arms - it all stops here, I told her. My higher power was all around us, adding light into the dark, contolling and stifling home where I grew up.

I went to sleep early afterwards - I didn't have my familiar addiction to people running through my head - my thoughts were of her, me and my higher power - it was the best sleep I have had in years.

I plan on doing more inner child work - thanks to the visualization/meditation this convention's workshops gave me a glimpse of...very powerful...very frightening...very grateful.

Thanks for letting me share

sodetermined

(((cagefree)))

Thank you for sharing, what a wonderful experience, and what a brave, step for you to make. She must have been so relieved that someone noticed her!

Your entire post really gave me some great inspiration.

denny57

I am thrilled for you, cagefree! Great things are waiting, I just know it.

((( ))

cagefree

Thanks Denny and Confused

It will be tough for me to go to CoDA meetings (the closest one's an hour away), but the way I feel now after a couple days of work, I will find a way - I must do this for myself (I work it cuz I'm worth it!)

Any advice for starting a meeting in my own area? Maybe I should start a separate thread...