Upsetting the apple cart
 

Today is a day for me to be flipping out. I feel overwelmed with life and would like to go crowl under a rock. My husbands car broke down and I am driving him to work and back. Well I sent him an email with details on how to take the bus home so he does not have to sit around while I am still at work. Besides.... I am leaving early to go get him. This was not me saying you need to take the bus. This is just incase you ever want to take the bus.
So I get the "Fine, I'll take the bus" OK that could be a nice fine or a frustrated FINE but of course I am stewing over it. (My Issue)

I also sent an email to my oldest sister telling her how I felt about her not meeting her obligation to spend time with our ******** brother. When my mom died, us three girls said we would each spend time one day a week with my brother. The oldest never has. My other sister is out of state for a while and so I am on my own and going nuts, so I had asked the oldest again to make it a point to help me out here. SURE she says. This was two weeks ago and nothing. She is only working 4 days a week so it's not like she can't make time.
my email was angry but a bit constructive in the sence that I told her this was not about upsetting her but more about how I feel and how our brother feels. Anyway.... I'm sure she is upset with me now, but I felt I needed to tell her and if she still does not want to be there for my brother then fine but at least she knows how I feel about it and how hurt he is about it.

OK I am done rambling.
D

((( Lostnfound )))

You have a lot going on in your world right now! Email and texting, even posting here... it's hard to hear the "tone" of someone when they are responding. I used to make myself crazy trying to figure out what someone was thinking or feeling when they were typing. Now I just read the words, and I know that their feelings and reactions belong to them. As one of my friends says, Facts is facts. That's what you did - you sent a bus schedule. That's a fact. How he responds to it or feels about it? That's his stuff.

Your brother is lucky to have you. Can you find a balance that you can live with that allows you to spend time with him without being overwhelmed? I would guess he's in a group home or facility where they can take care of him on a daily basis. All you can really do is YOUR part. Your sister will either step up and do her part, or she won't. But at least you know you're doing what you can do.

Be extra nice to yourself today. You deserve it!

Cats

"other people's feelings" are not your problem. Stop obsessing over it. You think they obsess over your feelings? Obviously not...

You two are correct. I knew I shouldn't be bothered but yesterday I just couldn't help it. I was talking to the woman who sits in front of me here at work and told her. "this is stupid" I said the serenity prayer for a while but then when I left.... It all came back and he wouldn't pick up when I called and that got me mad. Anyway he was fine when I picked him up. He wasn't bothered by it at all. It was all in my head.

I am headed to a womans AA meeting tonight, that should help.
Thanks for your response and good advice.
D