Why are recovering alcoholics emotionally/physically distant?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cali
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by Ago 
How is your recovery going? how are you? (without mentioning him or the relationship in the answer)
, I have no control. I cant control matters. Its not mine to control. I have let that go in understanding this. I guess Im on my path to 12steppin it. One day at a time .....thanks all!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1
My best friend and love of my life, we have been on again and off again for 8 yrs both with kids from previous marriages, we could just never be because he would dispear for days/weeks and so many woman so being best friends was all I could handle. I always attempted more and so did he but one binge after another another woman after another heart ache after heart ache, so maybe I was lucky because I had to early one separate the addict from
The person I learned to love each, and I loved them differently, he and I went our own ways for about year and half I moved far away, he came to see me, he asked me to comment back then dispeared then came back and asked me to give us a real shot. Promising me the world !! I love him always have and always will and my heart could not turn down the opportunity so we did and alll went well, as it always did, then happynes set in and fell apart, left dispeared ran away with some girl and was using and drinking and a mess. I did as I always did carried on and waited for his text and calls to let me know he was okay, my world fell apart, and then so did his, lots of pain lots of shinnagans and worry and being scared he agreed and went to rehab.. He is 4months plus sober, - after being 15 yrs on again off again, this is the longest he has ever gone, it's an emotional roller coaster, And he said all same things to me as well, I know your worried and I know it sucks. But my best friend said it best one day. We got in a huge fight because I was being "needy" I asked for hug and kiss cause I felt he no longer wanted me.. he said
"I have to worry every second of every min to stay sober, I need to worry about all the things around me, all mistake I made I worry about every single detail and those are things that used to make me use, I have to worry about your hapiyness and my happiness and the kids and if I am a good dad or person and husband, it's too much. I love you, I want you but without me sober you don't get any of this, right now I need to make sure I get this down, or I can't make you happy". That night he looked at me at the table with a face I had never seen, an expression that was new said I want us to work, I love woman but I love you more, please don't think otherwise."
Time patients and always remembering how long it took to get here, small steps.
I can also get it, as I was an addict also before him, then an binge alcoholic I also am clean and sober, and I still have my own bad days and my man too, of course never same days that would be too easy.. question. He was worth the fight drunk, why isn't he worth it anymore? Why didn't you give up before but you are willing to think the worst now? It's what helps me .. sorry it's long maybe it will help some
The person I learned to love each, and I loved them differently, he and I went our own ways for about year and half I moved far away, he came to see me, he asked me to comment back then dispeared then came back and asked me to give us a real shot. Promising me the world !! I love him always have and always will and my heart could not turn down the opportunity so we did and alll went well, as it always did, then happynes set in and fell apart, left dispeared ran away with some girl and was using and drinking and a mess. I did as I always did carried on and waited for his text and calls to let me know he was okay, my world fell apart, and then so did his, lots of pain lots of shinnagans and worry and being scared he agreed and went to rehab.. He is 4months plus sober, - after being 15 yrs on again off again, this is the longest he has ever gone, it's an emotional roller coaster, And he said all same things to me as well, I know your worried and I know it sucks. But my best friend said it best one day. We got in a huge fight because I was being "needy" I asked for hug and kiss cause I felt he no longer wanted me.. he said
"I have to worry every second of every min to stay sober, I need to worry about all the things around me, all mistake I made I worry about every single detail and those are things that used to make me use, I have to worry about your hapiyness and my happiness and the kids and if I am a good dad or person and husband, it's too much. I love you, I want you but without me sober you don't get any of this, right now I need to make sure I get this down, or I can't make you happy". That night he looked at me at the table with a face I had never seen, an expression that was new said I want us to work, I love woman but I love you more, please don't think otherwise."
Time patients and always remembering how long it took to get here, small steps.
I can also get it, as I was an addict also before him, then an binge alcoholic I also am clean and sober, and I still have my own bad days and my man too, of course never same days that would be too easy.. question. He was worth the fight drunk, why isn't he worth it anymore? Why didn't you give up before but you are willing to think the worst now? It's what helps me .. sorry it's long maybe it will help some
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, Teagle--wanted to let you know that the most recent post on this thread before your post is nearly 9 years old. It's a fair bet the original poster has long since moved on.
You'll likely get more responses by starting your own thread and telling us about yourself and your situation. If you don't want to re-type your entire post, you can either copy it to a new thread of your own or contact an admin person and ask that it be moved.
Welcome to SR--I hope you find both education and inspiration here.
You'll likely get more responses by starting your own thread and telling us about yourself and your situation. If you don't want to re-type your entire post, you can either copy it to a new thread of your own or contact an admin person and ask that it be moved.
Welcome to SR--I hope you find both education and inspiration here.
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