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Old 11-11-2008, 03:41 PM
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Do you think if someone cant admit they are an alcoholic, is it worth them going in and out of detox and rehab centres?

I ask only because after all these years my AS said she hadnt even got to the 1st step (she couldnt say it) but wanted me to look after her dog once again so she could go into rehab for the (something like 14th time-lost count).
This blew me away because she says she has an addiction but cant say the A word. When she calls me, I hear the same old crap over and over and my tolerance is O now. I have to hang up. She says she still drinks because she has no family support. I wonder what next weeks excuse will be...

I was numb, frozen (why after all this time, I admit, it still gets to me) Then after years of me looking after her 2 kids, she tells me what a bad mother I am because my son was into drugs. Go figure, the woman has lost it.

With christmas coming up also, my nephew (her son) wants to spend the holiday break with us. Guess what, I am taking her son away and trying to control him and we havent even made any arrangements yet.

BUT can you still look after my dog?
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:27 PM
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If she can't even admit that she has a problem, then it's probably a waste of time. However, I would take the dog off her hands--permanently. It deserves a much better life than it has now. Poor thing; it can't save itself.
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:30 PM
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My AXBF would laugh at how he would get his dog drunk, it was his drinking buddy before I came into his life. He still has her with him. When he leaves he always takes the dog. Says the Dog is the only one who loves him for him.
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:37 PM
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That's animal abuse. But it's not surprising since this guy abuses you, too. I'd report him to animal control or the SPCA and have the dog removed from his care before he kills it.
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by justjo View Post
Do you think if someone cant admit they are an alcoholic, is it worth them going in and out of detox and rehab centres?

I ask only because after all these years my AS said she hadnt even got to the 1st step (she couldnt say it) but wanted me to look after her dog once again so she could go into rehab for the (something like 14th time-lost count).
This blew me away because she says she has an addiction but cant say the A word. When she calls me, I hear the same old crap over and over and my tolerance is O now. I have to hang up. She says she still drinks because she has no family support. I wonder what next weeks excuse will be...

I was numb, frozen (why after all this time, I admit, it still gets to me) Then after years of me looking after her 2 kids, she tells me what a bad mother I am because my son was into drugs. Go figure, the woman has lost it.

With christmas coming up also, my nephew (her son) wants to spend the holiday break with us. Guess what, I am taking her son away and trying to control him and we havent even made any arrangements yet.

BUT can you still look after my dog?
That's a beautiful example of quacking. I swear you can't make this kind of stuff up.

Let me guess, rehab is free in your country? How's about some smokes while you're at it.

You have to laugh sometimes.

Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug3
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:37 PM
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I took in my oldest AD's dog 3 1/2 years ago and said enough is enough. She wouldn't be able to care for her, drop her off, I'd no sooner get that sweetie back in decent health, and she'd get her back.

I'm proud to say although the vet only gave her 1 year to live on meds (she has congestive heart failure), she just celebrated her 15th birthday this past April and now 3 1/2 years on the heart meds.

I cherish each day that I have with her!

This was the day she was trying out her new bed, and yes, she has pajamas on because her extremities get cold from the congestive heart failure.


She's also the dog giving me the 'kiss' in my signature picture.
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:39 PM
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What a beaut!
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by FormerDoormat View Post
If she can't even admit that she has a problem, then it's probably a waste of time. However, I would take the dog off her hands--permanently. It deserves a much better life than it has now. Poor thing; it can't save itself.

FD, I know I know. My poor baby left us 4 months ago (my Australian Terrier, he was 15 & on heart meds too) and I would love to take her dog for good. You know what, while she has been drinking she has lost 3 dogs and she just replaces them. It makes me sick. Everytime I take her dog the poor thing takes days to get use to it again (shivering in fear). It just loves having people to talk to. The last time I told her I could keep Blessie, (the dog) but she absolutely freaked out. I knew she would just go buy another dog. What can I do?
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Old 11-11-2008, 06:42 PM
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Justo...it is NOT normal was your AD is doing!

God bless the puppies!

You know I have a 13 year old and a 3 year old puppy and even they are more relaxed when the AW is out of the house!
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:17 PM
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Thanks DII, I am a dog lover myself. MY AS lives in a unrealistic, crazy world and even trying to comprehend some of things she says and does makes you crazy, so I stopped trying to. The sad part of all of this, is that fact she doesnt see what it does to us and its all about her, always.

Her kids moved out a few years ago and unfortunately the poor dogs she keeps replacing suffer. I have been there for her kids, dogs and babysat her house while she was in rehab so many times and I am now tired. I always have hope for her but you loose faith. I guess you become immuned to it all. I wouldnt tell you the state of her house as it would make you sick & the worst part of all of this, is how I have seen her spiral down to an unfunctional human being that seems to drown in her suffering. Its the kids I feel sorry for, they shouldnt have to go through this but we are there for them, so thats the main thing.
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Old 11-12-2008, 08:37 PM
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One of these times she just might sober up. She knows she has a problem because she keeps seeking treatment.
Bless you for being available for your grandkids when possible.
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