Screw loose?
Screw loose?
Hi everyone...
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
Hi everyone...
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
This is precisely why I participate on this forum every day, even though I haven't had an alcoholic in my life for over a year now. I agree with saying nothing to your sis. No sense telling her something she's not ready to hear.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i thought i had gained enough strength and al-anon knowledge to stop attending meetings and quit participating on this forum.
i went straight back into my old way of thinking and became very sick all over again. i have learned, that just like the alcoholic, i must make efforts everyday to stay healthy.
i went straight back into my old way of thinking and became very sick all over again. i have learned, that just like the alcoholic, i must make efforts everyday to stay healthy.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,905
embraced said it well too, I have to make efforts every day to stay healthy.
I'd like to think that someday I could cut back on meetings or not go at all, but I'm not that healthy yet and in some ways I hope I always feel the need to have a foundation in the rooms of recovery. That's why we have old-timers in the program, some of us always need to be there.
Are there any Al-Anon meetings near your sister's place? Honestly, attending meetings when I'm out of my area has opened me up to how far our programs reach out. It's an amazing experience to be in another state, and yet I can identify 100% with other people who have the same issues. I've never felt like an outsider.
i thought i had gained enough strength and al-anon knowledge to stop attending meetings and quit participating on this forum.
i went straight back into my old way of thinking and became very sick all over again. i have learned, that just like the alcoholic, i must make efforts everyday to stay healthy.
i went straight back into my old way of thinking and became very sick all over again. i have learned, that just like the alcoholic, i must make efforts everyday to stay healthy.
Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug3
Coyote
I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs.
YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!?????????
Silver that is so totally awesome!
Congratulations!8
Your post is coming at a good time-- with the holidays approaching I know I will be around some toxic people - every year I TRY to stay healthy - I bring my ODAT, I journal, I can talk to my BF. This year some things regarding my A brothers have apparently changed - I'll wait and see-- I am going to look up the local AlAnon meetings before I go! Thank you for this reminder!
Stay strong while you're there - being around any stage of alcoholic can swiftly send me down memory lane if I am not super aware, fortified, and careful with myself.
Peace-
B.
YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!?????????
Silver that is so totally awesome!
Congratulations!8
Your post is coming at a good time-- with the holidays approaching I know I will be around some toxic people - every year I TRY to stay healthy - I bring my ODAT, I journal, I can talk to my BF. This year some things regarding my A brothers have apparently changed - I'll wait and see-- I am going to look up the local AlAnon meetings before I go! Thank you for this reminder!
Stay strong while you're there - being around any stage of alcoholic can swiftly send me down memory lane if I am not super aware, fortified, and careful with myself.
Peace-
B.
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