Today was a bad day - losing my strength
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Today was a bad day - losing my strength
Hi All,
I'm having a very bad day today. I'm losing my strength, really I am. I am so drained, and I don't know why.
You all know what happened on Monday and Tuesday w/my AH. Well, Tuesday night, I stay up till after 12 to watch the elections, after having only 3 hours sleep the night before. But I figure, I can catch 8 hours and go to work a little late. Anyway, 3:30 a.m. AH comes banging again on all the windows and doors. He woke up me and my sons. Finally, I just let him in and told him sleep in the other room. Again, we go thru the usual "dance" the next morning "you can't come here again, if you do I will have you removed by the police". Now, to tell you the truth, I don't know if I can even have him removed, but he's so drunk, I figure I'll take the chance he'll think I could.
In any event, AH does well last night, doesn't come banging on the door, nothing. I fell asleep at 9 p.m. and woke up at about 2 a.m. to use the bathroom. Older son is coming out of there, says to me "you were sleeping so good and soundly mom, I'm glad" I said "yeah, me too, and I hope I go right back to sleep." and I proceed to use the bathroom and when I walk out the door, AH is there. I'm like "how'd you get in here?" He was so drunk and wobbling, coudn't even talk. I said "just get in there and go to sleep" I go up and tell son that I didn't know how AH got there. Son tells me that he didn't want to tell me but around 10 p.m., he heard banging at the door. He thought it was AH so he looked out the window and saw a cop car. Then he thought they were coming to tell us AH was dead. When he answered the door, the cop said to him "he's your problem now, don't let him out the rest of the night" and hands him his keys and wallet. So son just made him go in the room to sleep. He really didn't know what to do, and I can't blame him.
This morning I find out that AH was drinking and driving, and the nice policemen gave him a ride home. Wasn't that so considerate of them?????
Then he was still drunk this morning, had no car (didn't know where he left it), so he says he needs to take my car to court. I told him absolutely not. He's like, I have no money, no car and I need to get to court. I said I would drop him off at court (it's on my way) and he'd have to take a bus back to whereever he was going, but it couldn't be my house. Then of course I get the "oh, it's YOUR house now" and "I can't believe you're not even gonna wait for me and give me a ride back home" I'm like "what don't you understand about what I said, no I'm not giving you a ride back home and no you are not staying at THE house!" So I drop him off, things go great at court, tell him see ya next month. He's thrilled, got away w/no DWI and court went great! Calls me at work to tell me he must have done things right in life to have such luck. WTF???? Then he said he found his truck, he hit a curb or something and truck has to be fixed. It's gonna take a day or two, so he has to stay at the house. Again, no you're not! Again, he says he has no money and no car, I'm like "who created that, not my problem". Where's he gonna be when I get home???? AT THE HOUSE!!!! I don't know how much longer I can take of this, I seriously don't. I'm trying, I thought I was strong, but I'm really losing my strength. I'm starting to talk like a baby and tell my close co-workers and DIL that maybe I should just leave. Just quit my job and walk away from everything, move far away out of state, and in about a year contact my kids and grandkids and maybe by then he'd be dead and I can be at peace. I know this too shall pass, I know it. But I don't know if I can go a minute longer with this. It's hard, so very hard, and it never ends, no matter how I handle it. I just really think you never get any peace from them until their actually "recovering" or dead. Thanks for listening.
I'm having a very bad day today. I'm losing my strength, really I am. I am so drained, and I don't know why.
You all know what happened on Monday and Tuesday w/my AH. Well, Tuesday night, I stay up till after 12 to watch the elections, after having only 3 hours sleep the night before. But I figure, I can catch 8 hours and go to work a little late. Anyway, 3:30 a.m. AH comes banging again on all the windows and doors. He woke up me and my sons. Finally, I just let him in and told him sleep in the other room. Again, we go thru the usual "dance" the next morning "you can't come here again, if you do I will have you removed by the police". Now, to tell you the truth, I don't know if I can even have him removed, but he's so drunk, I figure I'll take the chance he'll think I could.
In any event, AH does well last night, doesn't come banging on the door, nothing. I fell asleep at 9 p.m. and woke up at about 2 a.m. to use the bathroom. Older son is coming out of there, says to me "you were sleeping so good and soundly mom, I'm glad" I said "yeah, me too, and I hope I go right back to sleep." and I proceed to use the bathroom and when I walk out the door, AH is there. I'm like "how'd you get in here?" He was so drunk and wobbling, coudn't even talk. I said "just get in there and go to sleep" I go up and tell son that I didn't know how AH got there. Son tells me that he didn't want to tell me but around 10 p.m., he heard banging at the door. He thought it was AH so he looked out the window and saw a cop car. Then he thought they were coming to tell us AH was dead. When he answered the door, the cop said to him "he's your problem now, don't let him out the rest of the night" and hands him his keys and wallet. So son just made him go in the room to sleep. He really didn't know what to do, and I can't blame him.
This morning I find out that AH was drinking and driving, and the nice policemen gave him a ride home. Wasn't that so considerate of them?????
Then he was still drunk this morning, had no car (didn't know where he left it), so he says he needs to take my car to court. I told him absolutely not. He's like, I have no money, no car and I need to get to court. I said I would drop him off at court (it's on my way) and he'd have to take a bus back to whereever he was going, but it couldn't be my house. Then of course I get the "oh, it's YOUR house now" and "I can't believe you're not even gonna wait for me and give me a ride back home" I'm like "what don't you understand about what I said, no I'm not giving you a ride back home and no you are not staying at THE house!" So I drop him off, things go great at court, tell him see ya next month. He's thrilled, got away w/no DWI and court went great! Calls me at work to tell me he must have done things right in life to have such luck. WTF???? Then he said he found his truck, he hit a curb or something and truck has to be fixed. It's gonna take a day or two, so he has to stay at the house. Again, no you're not! Again, he says he has no money and no car, I'm like "who created that, not my problem". Where's he gonna be when I get home???? AT THE HOUSE!!!! I don't know how much longer I can take of this, I seriously don't. I'm trying, I thought I was strong, but I'm really losing my strength. I'm starting to talk like a baby and tell my close co-workers and DIL that maybe I should just leave. Just quit my job and walk away from everything, move far away out of state, and in about a year contact my kids and grandkids and maybe by then he'd be dead and I can be at peace. I know this too shall pass, I know it. But I don't know if I can go a minute longer with this. It's hard, so very hard, and it never ends, no matter how I handle it. I just really think you never get any peace from them until their actually "recovering" or dead. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
so sorry, teree (((queenteree)))
Can you talk to the police about your options? Mention the banging on the windows and doors, the drunk driving, the current state of things, and just make sure there's nothing you can do (i.e. have him locked up) if he comes back and if he accosts you? What is the status of your divorce proceedings? (are you even doing that??) Is there some small, positive step you can take today toward sanity again?
Can you talk to the police about your options? Mention the banging on the windows and doors, the drunk driving, the current state of things, and just make sure there's nothing you can do (i.e. have him locked up) if he comes back and if he accosts you? What is the status of your divorce proceedings? (are you even doing that??) Is there some small, positive step you can take today toward sanity again?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I think GiveLove has a good idea in seeing police and describing the hell you and the kids are put thru night after night.
As for being driven home by "nice" cops, :wtf2 ???
Can imagine how you felt, as similar thing happened to me. Knock on door at 3am, and I open to "nice, caring" cop who had brought abf home. He'd been asleep in a gutter in middle of town. Explained that abf didn't live here, had his own flat on other side of town. Cop said "He needs a bit of TLC and keeping an eye on".
Told him "you are doing such a good job of TLC and I suggest you put him in the watch-house and keep your eye on him till he sobers up.
Poor man just stared and walked away.
I phoned the Senior officer next day and explained this wasn't the first time he had been dumped on my doorstep by cops, but it was the last. He issued orders that in future abf would be in clink for few hours and charged with drunk and disorderly, drunk in a public place or whatever applied.
If your AH is banging door down can you call police and have them lock him up til sober? If it happens often enough, he may give up or the cops may start not being so nice, charge him and he can front a judge a few times.
Don't know what your legal system is like, but surely you can get some help so you can sleep at night.
God bless :praying
As for being driven home by "nice" cops, :wtf2 ???
Can imagine how you felt, as similar thing happened to me. Knock on door at 3am, and I open to "nice, caring" cop who had brought abf home. He'd been asleep in a gutter in middle of town. Explained that abf didn't live here, had his own flat on other side of town. Cop said "He needs a bit of TLC and keeping an eye on".
Told him "you are doing such a good job of TLC and I suggest you put him in the watch-house and keep your eye on him till he sobers up.Poor man just stared and walked away.
I phoned the Senior officer next day and explained this wasn't the first time he had been dumped on my doorstep by cops, but it was the last. He issued orders that in future abf would be in clink for few hours and charged with drunk and disorderly, drunk in a public place or whatever applied.
If your AH is banging door down can you call police and have them lock him up til sober? If it happens often enough, he may give up or the cops may start not being so nice, charge him and he can front a judge a few times.
Don't know what your legal system is like, but surely you can get some help so you can sleep at night.
God bless :praying
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
been there, done that, queen. i finally started calling the police everytime he showed up. he got tired of waking up in the drunk tank and stopped.
but then of course, he just switched to another plan of attack. i understand so well when you think that their death is the only peace you will ever have.
before my latest "relapse" and took him back into my life, i went through the same bs that you are describing.
stay the course and stay tough
jeri
but then of course, he just switched to another plan of attack. i understand so well when you think that their death is the only peace you will ever have.
before my latest "relapse" and took him back into my life, i went through the same bs that you are describing.
stay the course and stay tough
jeri
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
