Pajarito

Hey- there is a great book about going through the trials of life experiences- sickness, death, divorce. . . and coming out of it more compassionate and resilient. It's called "Broken Open" and is by Elizabeth Lesser. It really helped me to recognize my "humanness." I've been trained from childhood to try to be perfect- which is now something I am letting go. I loved the book for it's real-life stories and insight on just being who we are- and letting others be who they are, as well as sitting with your experience and learning from it instead of "closing your eyes and going back to sleep."

AND- some of us seem to be touching on the concept of giving back- which for me is coming up more and more in my own conversations with people in my life. It's the idea of not only volunteering, but also becoming an al-anon sponsor- possibly. A friend of mine who has been instrumental in helping me through this time is a recovering alcoholic- 21 years- and the most amazing, giving, person- truly day and night from STBXAH who claims he doesn't drink so what's my problem??? Anyway- this friend is a shining example of how recovery works. He's started telling me it would help my recovery if I considered being a sponsor. I, of course, started laughing. . .I just don't feel healthy enough yet. He told me it's about helping each other- and in the process really getting stronger and gaining confidence. I get that- it's what we do here. I don't always feel qualified to give advice- and I try not to tell people what to do, but I see how being sympathetic or empathetic helps all of us- and sometimes my responses to all of you reinforce something in me. It doesn't mean I'm great at taking my own advice, though! LOL!!!

BTW_ I have officially detached from MIL. I am going to send her a birthday package from me and dd and I'll write her a note- not in huge detail- but I do feel I want to express my love for her and my hope that she will be there for dd. DD needs her grandmother. Hopefully she can put aside her anger and just be a good grandma. Thanks for listening and responding. You guys are great! :ghug2

Silverberry1331

(((paj))))

Everyone's advice and support is so great, and you are doing so wonderful with all of this. I know this isn't easy, and certainly not when you add more people in the mix. Stay strong...just hugs for you now.....