Very Small Triumph Today...
 

I just wanted to post a small triumph I experienced today that hopefully means I am gaining just a bit of positive ground in all the work I've been doing on myself (going to Al-Anon, reading a ton, reading and posting on this forum, reading Al-Anon literature, reading therapy books, going to counseling). Believe me, I really needed this small lift!!

So I am walking the dog to a vet appointment since she needed a minor surgery done today. And it's pouring down rain. Absolutely pouring and freezing cold. Where I live it's not necessary to have a car but since I have an excessive AH, we have two cars - yes totally unnecessary. And AH took both cars when I asked him to move out just so I would be inconvenienced - or so he thought. This was the first time that I actually was cussing because I didn't have the car. Anyway, I am pushing DD in the stroller and at least she is staying dry because it has a rain cover and the poor dog and I are just getting soaked. I start having this overwhelming urge to call AH and just bi*** him out because he knew about the dog's appointment, it has been raining alot lately (normal for this time of year), we've all been sick, and WHY does he need to have both cars?? So I had this conversation in my head for about 5 minutes and I was seriously looking around for a phone booth so I could call AH and get this off my chest (yes, mobile phone battery had died, thanks HP!!).

Suddenly another voice in my head interrupted the cussing out of AH. The voice said, "Try another approach." I said under my breath "WTF, what other approach is there?". The voice said again, clearly, "Try another approach." So I stopped the imaginary conversation with AH and tried to quiet my mind. I turned the corner and came upon an accident that had just happened. A guy had dumped his motorcycle and it looked like he was nearly dead.

I didn't want DD to see, so I kept on walking. And I changed my approach. I changed the conversation in my head to:
I am grateful I have a dog that I love so much and that I can take her to have surgery this morning. I am grateful I have a DD that I love so much that is staying dry in the stroller. I am grateful that I can walk with both of my dear loved ones, the three of us, together, and although we're getting soaked and it's freezing out here, we can dry off pretty soon.

I thought this over and over and I know it sounds cheesey, but I was filled with, for the moment, peace and serenity. This put me in a pretty good frame of mind all day and I was feeling good about myself being able to "shift" my mindset.

Then AH visited DD tonight here at the house and it all went to sh** again.

"Try another approach." It's such a simple solution, but it works like a charm:

When things aren't working in my life, try another approach.
When I'm feeling sorry for myself, try another approach.
When I'm playing the role of victim, try another approach.
When I'm in a lousy mood, try another approach.

It makes so much more sense than doing the same thing over and over again. It's such a simple lesson, but so very hard to learn. Now that you've acquired this simple tool, imagine all the ways you can use it.

I like that .... try another approach.

That's what I'm going to do today...try another approach.

Hey, at least you had a few min of peace. You could have had NO peace. I think the peace will grow and eventually fill your entire day.

I love this thread. What an inspiration. And I'm glad to hear you're ok. I hope you'll continue to keep us updated.