The rewards of detaching with love
 

My 20 year old AD still lives with me. This morning I was pondering whether she is truly an alcoholic who dabbles with binge drinking, or a flaming codependent. In either case, my reaction is still the same-to detach with love.

Last night she was home for a change, watching tv with a cat in her lap, I was on the computer doing school work. I walked in the living room, came up behind her and put my arms around her and asked her if I had told her how much I loved her, and how proud I was of her lately?

At 20 years old, I was married, with a toddler, scared to death, and in general, a neurotic mess.

At 20, her older AS was married, with a 3 year old, and a complete mess.

She's had the same job for years now. She has established good credit, and when the insurance company totaled out her car she wrecked, the bank gave her a 36 month loan on her new car this time instead of 24.

She loves her horse so much, and bought him as a 4 year old gawky gangly gelding, not broken.

She has worked tirelessly with him and it is a joy to watch her riding. She is a natural in the saddle.

She had to find a new place for him to go when things fell apart at the farm, and she did, and walked him that mile into town that day in the cold rain/wind.

She pays her bills. She decided the turbo kit that came with her new car wasn't a necessity, but was better served to sell so she can buy a new saddle and other tack for her horse.

This is all through nothing that I have done except to detach with love.

She is addicted to drama, and continues to choose friends who bring plenty of it to the table.

I say nothing and allow her to make her own choices.

She got all fired up about going to cosmetology school a couple of months ago and asked me to take a tour of the school with her, which I did.

I told her she could do anything she set her mind to.

She petered out on that once again, and I say nothing, and allow her to make her own choices.

She'll eventually get sick of her job again at some point and get fired up about continuing her education. :lmao

I see some maturity in that beautiful young woman now that never would have occurred had I nagged, browbeat, begged, pleaded, and tried to mold her to what I want.

All I know is when I do detach with love and let God do his work, things are so much better in my life, and hers too.

Freedom , I love this post...
for me too, the biggest revelation in my life lately has been finally getting out of God's way and watching him bring about healing in my daughter's life in His time...
things only started to shift in her life once I stepped aside and was able to see where I was meant to be all along....
I am so grateful and it amazes me on a daily basis....
hugs, Grateful

For so long, I had no idea just how glued I was in the driver's seat of life! :lmao

I find the difference between God's will and my will is that my will hurts.

I'm glad you were also able to detach with love. :ghug

Wow Freedom, What a wonderful post. I'm detaching slowly and would love to see these changes in my son. Right now he's working but I know he wants more in life and isn't quite sure which road to take yet...I'm happy your enjoying life and your daughter. You deserve that!! Smiles, Bonnie

I really love this post to. There is so much freedom in turning over the power we thought we had. I can hear your heart smiling. Even though there may be bad days, you have learned to bask in the joys of here and now. The beauty just for today.
For today I am also rejoicing over what I have.
Here's to many many more of these days to you. ((((HUGS)))))