CNMC2C

My old neighbor and friend from the neighborhood that I used to live in with my EXABF called last night to talk about me coming to pick some of my things that I had stored in his gargage during my move until I could get a storage unit. During our conversation he informed me that since I had moved out of my EXABF's house in September that my EXABF had ended his relationship with the woman that he was dating when I cut communication with him and is now claiming that he is in love with a woman from Washington and that she and her 2 kids are moving to Colorado to move into his house with him. My old neighbor and I discussed how amazing it is that he is continuosly bringing more people into his insanity and how sad it is that he won't get clean and sober and move to Texas to be with his 3 kids and be an active part of their lives. My old neighbor told me that he and his family have decided to not talk to my EXABF anymore. At the end of our converstaion I asked my old neighbor that in the future when we talked to please not bring up my EXABF. I just needed to vent for two seconds.

Now ...what am I going to do for myself for the rest of my day for ME? I am going for a walk, go to an Al-Anon meeting, and finish my work day in peace. Thanks for listening!

brundle

Strange how they remain so clueless to what everyone else sees so clearly. I'm kind of new to some of this. It all just blows me away. Oh by the way it really helps to see how you take care of you.

Good for you!!

steve11694

Nothing surprises me after the countless stories I have heard from loved ones and recovering addicts.

Perhaps in his mind, it is difficult to be with someone(you) that acknowledges he has an alcohol problem(politely phrased)
The new people are probably not initially aware of it and this aides and abets his "denial"

CNMC2C

You know what really ticks me off more than anything....it's that he has 3 beautiful children that LOVE him and he cannot put the damn Smirnoff bottle down for 2 seconds and see that they need him...not him like he is right now, but the clean and sober version that I fell in love with before he started drinking again. I also really feel sorry for this woman and her two kids. Yet more people that I need to add to my prayer list.

FormerDoormat

I try not to waste one second of my life or sacrifice a moment of serenity thinking about why my alcoholic (or any alcoholic) did the things he did. He did them, I couldn't live with his behavior, so I ended the relationship.

No matter how one slices it, life without an active alcoholic is SO much better than trying to live a life with one. Whenever I found myself starting to dwell on what my ex boyfriend did, I turned the focus on myself and the happy life I live today.

I can't believe I waited so long for him to get his act together. And, more importantly, I can't believe I waited so long to get MY act together.

denny57

The day I realized this applied to ME, too, was the beginning of the road to personal recovery.

Pajarito

I just have to say that life with a dry drunk is just as bad- and I was living that nightmare.

BUT- I do get what you and denny are saying- focusing on ME is what is getting me out of the mess I was living in. I'm glad to see you are doing some good things for yourself today CNMC2C. . .a meeting, walking. . .

CNMC2C

just got in from my walk and have cooled off and stopped myself from the "habit" of focusing on something that I have no business putting my energy toward. wow...it is so amazing how quickly i can regress from all the work that i have been doing. anyway...headed to my al-anon meeting now. Thanks for the reminders to keep my attention focused on ME and my recovery. Hugs to you all!