Numb would be so much better
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 110
October 23,rd I was diagnosed with IBC.....
Right now the focus has got to be on you and life.
When all you hear around you is quacking, get away. Somewhere where you can focus on the good things in life. Take a nice refreshing walk. Listen to the birds chirp.
Take a relaxing bath. Do something for yourself.
From past experience he's not concerned of what everything is doing to you, but what it does to him. Alcohol......I can certainly live without it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NOR CAL
Posts: 70
You've been used and abused for so long you forgot that your deserve to be happy. You have to focus on yourself, and your recovery right now. Don't second guess your decisions, only move forward (not back). That was wrong of him to tell your business, you don't need someone like that in your life. Just try to move forward, one day at a time. Tell anyone who asks that you need your privacy, you don't need to share details, it's none of their business. You CAN do this alone, with God by your side. Have faith.:shiny
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 16
Well he just came by...I opened the main door but not the screen....He reeked of alcohol, and said...you need me right now...let me take you out to eat so we can talk. I said no..he said why and I said I don't owe him any reasons or excuses.....He asked if this is the way we are gonna do this and I closed the door. It was so easy to do....I hate that he's drinking still but it made it that much easier to stand my ground. I don't imagine it's gonna be the last I see of him. He is so obsessive and just plan old mean, next time I won't open the door at all. Thank s so much everyone...for all your support! What would I do without you all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
That you were abused for many years and suffered in silence,
that you thought for a long time you had to stay regardless,
that you finally found the strength to end it, and
that YOU STAND BY YOUR DECISION AND DON"T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANY MORE.
That means, no more messages, no more calls, no more ANYTHING unless they're ready to be supportive.
Agree with the above quote.
I went thru something like this when I walked out. Everyone was shocked - at me! Had never even told our grown kids how bad it was for the last 5 years, not any rape thank God, but his anger and frustration at his not being able to "perform". I was the problem, he told me, as I was just a dead fish. Turned out it was the 4 litres of wine he'd been glugging every night plus bp tabs that were the cause, not me.
It only took 9 months of living with each daughter for a while, and having to take early retirement because he'd mucked up in his job, that finally the truth emerged.
That was 20 years ago and today I posted thread of his expected death.
Wish I had had the guts to at least tell kids he was an alcoholic and had twisted thinking instead of being a miserable silent martyr for so long.
Give your Pastor a chance to help, by telling him that what your ex has said are lies. That ex is an alcoholic, has abused you and you have left him because of those things. You don't need to give details, just the fact that your ex is an alcoholic and has abused you is more than enough.
If your Pastor knows you thru you being Youth Director, he should accept your reasons and support you to the hilt.
If he doesn't do so, then I'd understand HE has a problem and leave it to God to deal with.
Carry on as a YD, church member and be yourself, because somewhere along the line your ex will also show the real him to others and truth will out.
God bless you
that you thought for a long time you had to stay regardless,
that you finally found the strength to end it, and
that YOU STAND BY YOUR DECISION AND DON"T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANY MORE.
That means, no more messages, no more calls, no more ANYTHING unless they're ready to be supportive.
Agree with the above quote.
I went thru something like this when I walked out. Everyone was shocked - at me! Had never even told our grown kids how bad it was for the last 5 years, not any rape thank God, but his anger and frustration at his not being able to "perform". I was the problem, he told me, as I was just a dead fish. Turned out it was the 4 litres of wine he'd been glugging every night plus bp tabs that were the cause, not me.
It only took 9 months of living with each daughter for a while, and having to take early retirement because he'd mucked up in his job, that finally the truth emerged.
That was 20 years ago and today I posted thread of his expected death.
Wish I had had the guts to at least tell kids he was an alcoholic and had twisted thinking instead of being a miserable silent martyr for so long.
Give your Pastor a chance to help, by telling him that what your ex has said are lies. That ex is an alcoholic, has abused you and you have left him because of those things. You don't need to give details, just the fact that your ex is an alcoholic and has abused you is more than enough.
If your Pastor knows you thru you being Youth Director, he should accept your reasons and support you to the hilt.
If he doesn't do so, then I'd understand HE has a problem and leave it to God to deal with.
Carry on as a YD, church member and be yourself, because somewhere along the line your ex will also show the real him to others and truth will out.
God bless you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
I am praying for you and glad to hear you are standing your ground.
Everyone has had some great supportive words above. The only thing I can think of is have you tried to get some face to face support or counseling? You are going through more than most could handle at one time and utilizing all resources available to you would be a good idea. Your Dr. might have a referral for a crisis counselor.
Another thought is checking out your legal options regarding your family situation. You should not have to deal with physical abuse and you don't have to let it continue in your life.
No matter what, I pray that life gets better for you as does everyone here! Also remember that a clear sober mind is the best chance you have in getting through all of this.
:praying
Everyone has had some great supportive words above. The only thing I can think of is have you tried to get some face to face support or counseling? You are going through more than most could handle at one time and utilizing all resources available to you would be a good idea. Your Dr. might have a referral for a crisis counselor.
Another thought is checking out your legal options regarding your family situation. You should not have to deal with physical abuse and you don't have to let it continue in your life.
No matter what, I pray that life gets better for you as does everyone here! Also remember that a clear sober mind is the best chance you have in getting through all of this.
:praying
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