Bernadette

I keep putting off posting this: I'm working on procrastination!!!!!

Seriously.
I had a therapist tell me once it is a manifestation of fear.
Why am I afraid of cleaning my closets???? Of paying my bills on time? Of making appointments? Of gettin stuff done??????!!

Some things I can whip through like a hot knife through butter, I do not hesitate. Other stuff, usually the mundane but necessary stuff I can stare at it till I'm cross-eyed and leave it till tomorrow!!!!!!!

Blah.
B.

blessed4x

I'm working on being present....I mean REALLY present for each of my kids daily. I know it sounds like, duh, that's what parents do. But with 4 of them it takes a conscious effort to find time with each individually and also all together.

Family meal time......sadly that's one thing that went by the wayside as the dysfunction grew. I'm reinstating it, maybe not EVERY night (because if any of you have ever had a high-schooler in sports you know how that goes) but the majority of the time, the majority of us will sit down at a table together to break bread......even if AH chooses not to join us.

Also lost in the chaos was "date night" with mom, where one child and I got to go to a sit-down restaurant every other month. It was a great time to brush up on manners and get all the latest dirt on their school/social life.

sslusser

I am working on taking control of my life back.

I am working on providing a safe and stable life for my son.

I am working on realizing that just because my AW doesn't think I am worthwhile, I am.

justsomegirl

"Some of the verbal abuse ah dishes out has caused a steady errosion of my self worth"
I am working on my self worth as well.

I am trying to only control myself and not him.

I am desperatly trying to get control out of my crazy life and figure out what will make me happy, not everyone else.

I am trying to be responsible, positive and reliable.

I am trying to be a good person.

I am trying to get a "backbone" and some "balls" as my AH loves to remind me that I don't have.

Pajarito

I love this thread.

I am working on being compassionate with myself.

I'm working on calming my inner child- and standing up as an adult and taking back my super powers!

I'm also working on being calm, taking better care of myself and dd, reaching out for help, discovering what living life to the fullest means.

denny57

Why, so I can be just like him? I heard that, too. Know what? Reaching out for support and taking steps for my own recovery is hard work - xAH should have such balls. ((( )))

Pajarito

Denny- that made my day!

jerect

I'm working on taking care of me..

In the last year in a half I have lost sight of who I am and I have put things that I have enjoyed doing on the back burner because I have been consumed with my AH's addiction.. I want to be the opposite of what my AH is..

So.. I'm taking care of my body by nurishing it with good foods, going to the gym every day to get plenty of exercise..

Praying to God and asking him to change me instead of asking him to change my AH.. I still pray for my AH but I only ask for God's will in his life..

Developing healthier friendships, ones that I can confide in and enjoy good positive fellowship. I may not have much of a marriage but I can at least fill that void with good friends..

And lastly, I'm working on minding my own business.. what my husband does is none of my business.. He is 34 years old and more then capable of making decisions for himself. Why should it be my responsibilty to wake him up so that he can be to work on time? Why should it be my responsiblity to make sure he is taking his meds, eating right, exercising, staying away from drugs and alchohol.. the list goes on..

danilee

I am working on living and enjoying the moment. I have always been the "I'll be happy and things will be ok when this or that happens" kind of person. My kids and myself miss out on a lot because of that way of thinking. It was a coping mechanism that I have had to use to keep my sanity through some rough times. I am so lucky to have 2 healthy children and they deserve me to be "present" in their lives not just going through the motions to get through another day.

Rella927

Simply stated!

lizw

I can always do a second round! There's a lot to change here too!

Right now, I am trying not to react to alcoholic behavior!

While I don't have an alcoholic partner anymore, I do have friends who are alcoholic and I had a little argument with one of them about a week ago and I think she is still sulking. It probably wasn't even an argument but rather I spoke sharply to her as I was exasperated.

It's silly school yard stuff, he said, she said too etc....
And eventually I will phone her as she is my friend and I care for her, but I'm not ringing when I feel like I am doing it to appease her.

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