justaboutus

So here I am, watching a movie, drinking some coffee, and posting to you guys.

Where's AH? Sitting outside in the cold smoking and drinking and talking politics and philosophy with his friend (I will not let them smoke in the house)... having a grand old time. I want to beat them with sticks.

I work all day! I clean and do the laundry! He's just a BUM! Why am I stuck with all the work and he's the one that gets to have fun? I'm SO outta here.

blessed4x

Wish I was at your house with my coffee mug! I spent the evening with family playing board games. For the most part it was a good time, but would have been better if AH would have been out in the cold smoking and drinking, LOL! He did take "smoke breaks" (can't smoke in the house here either), and returned with a frosty beer can each time.

He makes sexual inuendos that he thinks our teenage boys won't get, but they do.......UGGHH! I think I must have gone through half a can of Febreeze to freshen the air from the farts he blamed on the dog. Did I mention that for the most part it was a good time? Now I'm trying to decide whether I want to go to the bedroom to sleep in the stench of stale alcohol or stay here on the couch. Either way the noise level from the snoring is going to make it tough to sleep.

I did mention that for the most part I'm having a good time, didn't I?

HealthyLimits

This is going to seem a little harsh so I'm sorry. I will say the same thing I always say to my friends that tell me things like the above. When a person does something like that, i.e. there is a choice and (as hard as it may be) the person doesn't make the choice to stand up for them self I say "well good for him"...

I always get the same what the hell look but really, good for them. If you allow, key word being allow them to keep getting away with something don't be shocked when they do it and for that matter when they push your limits.

I wish you luck as I know it sucks to be lonely in a relationship.

blessed4x

HealthyLimits.....Thanks for the reminder. Actually, I've made HUGE progress since I've been here, and having followed justaboutus' story I think she has as well. I've sought legal council, and am in the process of making changes that need to be made......most of all detaching and taking care of me.

Still, every now and then, it's nice just to vent. It was some of these very kinds of "vents" that made me realize, when I first found SR, that I wasn't living alone in this crazy world. It was posts like yours that helped me learn that I didn't have to continue that way. Thanks again!

justaboutus

I am making healthy steps towards getting rid of that behavior, I just couldn't that night... well... I guess I could have, but it would have started a huge fight and BIL was there and I just didn't want to do it then.

My healthy step?? I'm moving out!! Friday is my last day. I have a new job in a new town and start on Monday. DD and I will be living with family till we get settled. I told stbxah and he said he'd start tying up lose ends here and make the move in a month or so, but I don't plan on him coming... I'm sure he'll be visiting but I'm not going to allow him to drink around us and I'll be setting several other boundaries. I will admit I'm starting to get a little scared, but I've got to move on.

Bernadette

I will admit I'm starting to get a little scared, but I've got to move on.

Fear not - SR & your recovery skills go with you!!

Feelings are all OK - just be in charge of your own behavior. Whatever you're "feeling," keep "doing" what is right for YOU!!

Peace & Prayers for your move!
B

justaboutus

it's just strange... this is the first time I've been anything but angry or indifferent.

denny57

Today I recognize this as doing the right thing for me.

Good luck!