I'm back from Europe (this is really long)

Old 10-20-2008, 06:44 PM
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I'm back from Europe (this is really long)

I just wanted to pop in an update you all on my trip.

If you remember, right before I left I went through some massive down feelings and cried for days. I wasn't excited about the trip...until we landed in Rome.

I ended up taking 1400 pictures, so there will be a photo essay at some point, but I have to figure out where to download pictures and how. Obviously I'm behind, but I've been working since I got back.

Before I left I put myself on a 2 week email and phone ban. That turned out to be the best decision I could have made. I forgot what day it was on most days I nearly had to be reminded what my name was.

So, the first stop was Rome. Like NY, but European. I loved it there and could easily move if I could figure out how to practice law there. We went to the Vatican, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon (I'm sure I'm not spelling anything right) and some sculpture with a mouth that was in some movie with Audrey Hepburn. Interesting...

The day after we got to Rome, we got on the ship. It was huge. I've never been on anything like this. That was excitement enough for the day. We ate and went to bed because our first stop was the next day and we had something to do at 7:00 a.m.

The first stop was Naples, or Napoli! There, we went to Capri, Sorrento and Pompeii. I can't describe how beautiful Capri and Sorrento are. Breathtaking is the best way to describe it. Like a post card. I could have sat there for days just looking at the water. Pompeii was also amazing. We had a good tour guide who took a liking to me and my friend. He knew we were from New York, so he explained all the similarities between Pompeii and New York and pointed stuff out to the two of us that he didn't point out for the rest of the group. It was more like being on a personal tour.

The next day we had a day at sea. I really needed that. I slept until 2 in the afternoon. Very unusual for me. Then the sad feelings came back and, because there were a lot of people on their honeymoon, it didn't help and I started missing my ex. So I went up on deck alone for a while. When we were supposed to get engaged, we discussed getting married in September of this year. I could not stop thinking that this could have been my honeymoon. So, I sat on a deck chair and decided I would bring him with me on the trip for a little while. There was an empty chair next to me, so it worked out to envision him there. I must have looked crazy. I cried a a lot, but sat with him in my mind and just allowed myself to feel everything, good and bad. I knew if I didn't snap out of it I would ruin my own vacation, so I explained to him in my mind that I needed to have a break from life. It was weird that I had to give myself permission to have a good trip, but it worked. I still thought about him a lot, but lived in the moment on this beautiful trip for the rest of the time.

The next day was Croatia. Also like a post card. There is a huge wall that surrounds Dubrovnik that you have to climb, but it was so worth it. So we climbed and I must have taken 200 pictures of Dubrovnik alone. So amazing.

The next 2 days were the best. We were in Venice. I have always wanted to go there and I can't explain how it felt to be there. I literally walked and cried it was so beautiful. It is everything a post card can convey and a ton more. It is full of color and life. There are people everywhere, but it's so peaceful I can't describe it really. I just felt like it was exactly where I was supposed to be. Despite it's billing for romance, two single New Yorkers found plenty to do. Since the ship was docked for the night, we stayed in Venice for as long as we could. We tried to find our way out at about 1 in the morning and got very lost, then finally found someone who spoke perfect English to help us. I think we got back on the ship by 2:30. We woke up at 7 a.m. to go back. This time we didn't get lost. We ate a lot of gellato too, so it was good for the inner child.

The next day was a sea day. I literally sat on a deck chair for 7 hours and just stared at the sea. I brought a book but didn't read. I have never done that before.

The next day was Messina. We didn't stay there because there isn't much to see, so we went to a place called Taormina. Also amazing. More for shopping, but that had some incredible churches, so I spent some time photographing that.

Then we had sea day. More productive than the last. My friend's mom was on the trip with us, so I cut her hair and then we ate and drank and got ready for formal night. Too much fun. I rarely drink, but we had champaign with dinner. We laughed so hard I thought my face would fall off. It was a great night.

On to Barcelona. This is a place I wish we had more time in. It's gorgeous. We didn't do anything but wonder the streets. We shopped a lot too for earrings. I got 8 pairs for me and some for my friends.

The day after that was Monaco. This is a place you could easily feel bad about yourself : ( We stared walking to the casino and they were shooting a Gucci add. I'm not a big girl, but walking past stick figures was interesting to say the least. I got over it quick. The place is perfect. It was almost freakishly clean. Then we went to the casino, the famous one. It was like watching a movie. No one famous, but people just staring at all the wealth around them. My friend read somewhere that you have to buy your way into citizenship with like $100,000. Needless to say it's a place I will never live, but I'm grateful to have seen it once.

The next day was Florence and Pisa. Florence was a place I needed to go again. I had been there 6 years ago with my ex addict bf. It was a completely miserable trip, so my idea was to go to places we went in Florence and reclaim it for myself and that's what I did. I stood in place I stood with him and took pictures of all the stuff I had seen with him. I have had closure for years with our relationship, but this felt like a deeper moving forward for me. I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to do that. Now Florence for me is just a place of incredible beauty that is free of him in my mind.

We left the next day and headed back to Rome for another night. It was sad to get on the plane the next day and back to real life. I've been going through some weird feelings since I came back, but I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Most days I'm between laughing and crying, but that's way better than just crying.

So that's it in a nutshell!
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:51 PM
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What a fantastic trip, NYC. I'm so jealous! Glad it was a moving-forward experience for you as well as an a$$-kicking vacation. Sigh....
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:20 PM
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Remember it well, Chick. You were at the Trevi Fountain in Rome from the movie, "Three Coins in a Fountain." If you throw in a coin, the story goes, you will return to Rome.

I threw my coin in back in 1989. Ain't returned yet. Sigh.

I'm so glad you had time to enjoy and reflect. Gazing at the water is a tranquilizing experience; at least that's according to what one of my many shrinks told me!

I am looking forward to seeing photos of your wonderful vacation. It sounds as if, in addition to your actual physical journey, you had a spiritual one too.

The grieving process is not easy. You're doing fine. It takes guts to let go of the addict and go through the pain of letting go. Keep posting. I'm glad you're back with us!
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Old 10-20-2008, 08:43 PM
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Glad you're back.

Thanks for the vacation synopsis - I felt like I got to go with you!
I think I'm going to take a tip from you and nourish my inner child with some gellato!


-TC
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Old 10-20-2008, 08:54 PM
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Wow...thanks for sharing.. that sounds so cool!! Hope to see some pics soon.. : )
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Old 10-20-2008, 10:18 PM
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Welcome home NYC! What an amazing trip! It sounds like it was good for your soul. Travel is one of the best ways to get in touch with yourself, IMHO.

I went to Europe earlier this year, for the first time in my life. Spain and France were my destinations. I am IN LOVE with Barcelona. What a beautiful city! And, the people of Spain are beautiful, too.

So glad you had a redemptive experience.

L
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:15 AM
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Sounds like a fabulous time, NYC. And it also sounds like you are feeling more proactive in your forward motion. I talked with a friend about the timing of breaking up with a loved one-A or no A- and how it just doesn't seem to be able to be rushed, but rather must be felt, at its own speed, until owned.

But sooner or later, one does have to step away from it, say okay, I can't stay in that pain forever cause it's getting too hard, boring, uneventful, painful, whatever, and start the journey back upward to the good life. Why we think we can't have the good life as a single person, I don't know. But when we do, it makes us so much more confident than before, and in turn attractive to the world. And in that confidence, if someone special enters our life, we are not so wildly dependent on them that we will fall without them. They merely accentuate an already terrific life.

You sound peaceful, content, and ready to continue your OWN journey. I'm so glad you got to enjoy your European vacation. Can't wait to see a picture!
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:11 AM
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Wow, I am so jealous. I can't wait to see pictures! I have a friend that travels a lot (within the US), but I feel like I'm on a mini vacation when I see her pictures!
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:42 AM
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WOW! I hope you do a whole bunch of photo albums on your profile page.

I have been to some of those places but that was a long time ago, reading your adventures was a mini-revisit!

Good for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-21-2008, 07:18 AM
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Sounds so wonderful! I've been to Italy, so I was imaging your trip and remembering mine. Have you read "Eat, Pray, Love"??? It's a great book about getting over a bad relationship- eating through Italy, praying in India and love in Indonesia. . . Thanks for letting us live through your experience, and I'm glad it was healing.
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Old 10-21-2008, 07:24 AM
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Thanks NYC!! Holy Cow what an awesome trip!! God for the soul even to hear about it!
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:41 PM
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Hey, Chick! Thanks for the travelogue - I almost feel like I was there, too, after reading your post!
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:12 PM
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I've never left the continental United States. Your trip sounds fabulous, though I'm not jealous one bit. Just overwhelmingly happy for you that you had the trip of a lifetime. You deserved it. Can't wait to see the photos.
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:12 PM
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Welcome back, NYC! Sounds wonderful - I love Italy, my family is from down the Naples/Sorrento area.

Can't wait to see the pics.
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Old 10-21-2008, 07:14 PM
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Thanks for the welcome back!!!

Ii forgot 2 places...Nice and Eze. We were in France the same day we did Monaco. In total, it was 14 places in 14 days. Anyway, Nice is beautiful too and Eze is famous for perfume. I didn't buy any, but I guess there is a huge market for it there.

I posted some pictures on a file sharing site. Because I bought a professional camera before I left, the images can be blown up poster size and are HUGE, so there are only a handful compared to how many I took, but pm me and I'll send you the link if you want to see. Most are in Venice, some in Monaco, Eze and Barcelona. I'll add the caption so you know why you are looking at. Venice is easy : )

SC11: My mom used to read a lot because it was the only way she could "travel" when she was young, so I know what you mean when you say you feel like you are there when you look at your friend's pictures.
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Old 10-21-2008, 08:15 PM
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Sounds wonderful!
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:26 AM
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What a wonderful trip. I always wanted to go to the UK, it was a dream I had for many years, but I didn't go with my ah when he went there because it was bad enough here and the thought of being "stuck" with him, as he was behaving and in a strange country, scared me off it. How did your experience imagining your ex was with you, and telling him that you needed your "break from life", work for you. Sounded like a good move to me, but wonder if it left you feeling free to be yourself, for yourself. Hope it worked.
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:43 PM
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Jadmack: It worked pretty well. In a perfect world, he'd be sober, we'd be married, and the trip would have been with both of us. But, of course it's not a perfect world and things happened as they did. At the point I sat on the deck I could not take anymore. I still thought about him a lot and I was still sad, but the way it was going before I made the deal with myself I could have easily ruined my trip. I've very thankful I didn't. I have no idea when I will have the means, or the vacation time, to do this again.
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