FormerDoormat

Two words that kept me stuck in a miserable situation: I CAN'T.

It's amazing the power that words have over people:

• I can't leave my addicted partner.
• I can't find a job.
• I can't afford to live on my own.
• I can't take care of myself.
• I can't support my children.
• I can't find a new partner.
• I can't live another day.

Two words that changed my life: I CAN.

• I can let go of the people and situations that stand in the way of my happiness.
• I can find a good job.
• I can afford to live on my own.
• I can take care of myself and my children.
• I can find a healthy and supportive partner.
• I can live a happy and peaceful life.

I can do anything I set my mind on doing. I can achieve any goal and overcome any obstacle.

Two words have the power to make or break me. In order to change my life, I had to stop believing I can't and start believing I can.

cyclelady

This is wonderful!!! Thank you!!!

Just have to print this out and read it every morning and night! (maybe sometime in between as well)

stillsearching

best thing I heard today, I am finding out that just by working on changing how I am thinking, can be life changing, today I tell myself...I am strong, beautiful and confident! I am WOMAN hear me roar...haha!

FormerDoormat

Two words that increase my self esteem: I AM.

I am strong.
I am confident.
I am successful.
I am pretty.
I am healthy.
I am self-reliant.
I am creative.
I am talented.

Three words that decrease my self esteem: I AM NOT.

I am not strong.
I am not confident.
I am not pretty.
I am not thin.
I am not independent.
I am not skilled.
I am not financially stable.

Words are powerful because my thoughts become things. Positive thoughts result in positive actions. Negative thoughts result in negative actions.

FormerDoormat

Two words that kept me stuck in magical thinking: IF ONLY.

• If only he could get sober.
• If only he'd see the light.
• If only he'd change.
• If only he'd get a job.
• If only he attended AA.
• If only he went to rehab.
• If only he could control his temper.
• If only he would treat me better.
• If only I were prettier.
• If only I were thinner.
• If only I were smarter.
• If only I were more patient.
• If only I were more understanding.

FormerDoormat

Five words that keep me moving forward: I ACT IN SPITE OF

• I act in spite of fear
• I act in spite of doubt
• I act in spite of worry
• I act in spite of inconvenience
• I act in spite of discomfort
• I act when I'm not in the mood

Inaction kept me stuck in a miserable life. Action set me free from my self-imposed prison and opened the door to a happy life.

FormerDoormat

Two words that rob me of power: I ALLOW.

• I allow others to mistreat me.
• I allow others to cheat on me.
• I allow others to take advantage of me.
• I allow others to mooch off of me.
• I allow others to lie to me.
• I allow others to steal from me.
• I allow others to bargain with me.
• I allow others to embarrass me.

Setting boundaries is akin to taking back my power. I no longer give it away.

sodetermined

Thank you so much for these posts, FD.

This is a big one for me today, I have been going over each one of these the last few days. It keeps me stuck....

Again, great posts!

FormerDoormat

Two words that take back my power: I CHOOSE.

• I choose to have a loving relationship.
• I choose to be happy.
• I choose to be financially independent.
• I choose to be healthy.
• I choose to be strong.
• I choose to succeed in life.
• I choose to surround myself with people who enhance my life.
• I choose to live a life free from others' addictions.

laurie6781

Excellent thoughts FD.

Brings to mind the old adage:

"If it weren't for an 'if' and a 'but' we'd all be rich."

Two more...............................I WON'T. I WILL.

I WON'T allow others to abuse me, mentally, emotionally, or physically.
I WON'T allow anyone using alcohol and/or drugs into my home.
I WON'T play the games, join in the drama, etc

I WILL continue to work on me.
I WILL do something nice for myself each day.
I WILL continue to set goals and work on them FOR ME, etc

Thanks again, great thread!!

Love and hugs,

miss communicat

Great posts. My life continues to be amazing and wonderful, as a direct result of turning my thinking around from defeatist, negative language and self talk to affirmative, grateful and faithful attitudes and self talk.

I am fully aware that our words have power and that we create our own experiences.

thank you for shining the light on positivity today!

FormerDoormat

Four powerful words:

• I can
• I am
• I act
• I choose

But the most powerful words of all are I and ME because that's where my recovery began.

Chrysalis123

What a great and timely post for me. Than you FD. I am going to make a print out of all the positive ones and hang them up where I can see it frequently.

Silverberry1331

GREAT POST!

I am learning that dangerous phrases of sick thinking include:

Shoulda
Woulda
Coulda
Oughta

Everytime I focus on these, I take the focus off of myself and put it on the alcoholic. I immediately negate step one by taking on power that is not mine and never belonged to me in the first place!!!

This thread should be a stickie!

denny57

Terrific post, FD. What was so confusing to me is that I possessed most of those positive traits going into the relationship with xAH. Living with addiction was a slow descent into confusion hell.

Now that I'm out of the alcoholic relationship, I'm pretty much back to a lot of them. EXCEPT the self worth. What I'm learning through therapy and the 12 steps is that this is something that goes way, way, back with me - the "blame" for it does not lie with the alcoholic. I truly believe today that if I had not had that relationship I may have gone through life thinking I was pretty darn confident, loving, capable, ambitious, pretty, fun, etc., but not worthy of anyone appreciating it or loving me.

Don't ask me to explain it - that's why I'm in therapy LOL!!!!!!!!!

miss communicat

A book title that impacted me very much 20 years ago was "You Can't Afford The Luxury Of Even One More Negative Thought". I really stopped right where I was when I read that and listened to it.

now....I realize, that title could be 100% affirmative, instead of 50% affirmative and 50%negative.

If I were to reframe it, I'd say "Think and Act Affirmatively Now". hmmmmm. How boring. Somehow, though, that 2nd title lacks the 1-2 punch of drama that sells books.

Why did drama keep me hooked in relationships that caused emotional pain? this dynamic begged some reflection for me and continues to do so.

Why do I choose to ride an emotional rollercoaster?
Why would I choose to swing high and low in my inner self talk and outer choices when it feels better to enjoy peace and calm?

all I can say is that it really works when I affirm the good that is, the things I can change, and express gratitude for all I have.

GiveLove

Great posts, FD.

I really do believe that thoughts become things. (hence my second signature line)

Barbara52

There is a great deal of very powerful information in this thread! Thank you so much FD! {hugs}

TooMuch4TooLong

I haven't been here in a while so I am pleasantly surprised by this post, thanks Jill. It is so true, a year ago I would never have beleived where I am now. I won't lie, money is beyond tight but my daughter and I are so happy. I want to add one more to the "I can't" list and rebutt...

"I can't live with out him/her"
Rebutt: You already are.

Life is so very very good! Peace!

coyote21

Good stuff FD, very profound and even stickyesque! Thanks!

Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug2
Coyote