phab4ever

After replying to another thread I got to thinking about a conversation I had A while back with my husband.
I told him that if his drinking keeps up I'm going to start subconsiously thinking of him as a child. What I mean is my love for him is going to change from an adult relationship to that of a mother and child love.I'm having a hard time explaining what I mean,but I think more than a few of you get the idea.
Thats exactly what happened to my first marriage.He wasn't an alcoholic,he was just nuts.I shouldn't put it that way,he had some serious mental problems.Unfortunatly that explains my sons problems.
Anyway,feeling like you love your husband like you would a child has many damaging factors.For one thing it wreaks havoc on my sex life!!
Thank god my husband and I are best friends or we might not have made it this far!When he's sober we have a great time together.We have alot in common,we like the same music,have the same political beliefs,enjoy the same activities(except getting drunk). But when he drinks he drives me crazy.I can't even stand the sound of his voice.He doesn't make any sense.Its true what somebody said in another thread.He acts like a spoiled child!
Does anybody know what I mean? Or do I sound like a raving idiot too?!
Thanks for the chance to vent,
GOD BLESS,Karen

QTpie

I know what you mean. My boyfriend is always acting like a kid he goes out like a teen to friends houses and partys. He just floats from job to job with a nice long vacation in-between. He looks at it like this he didn't have a good childhood so now he can make up for it and the cost of me and our children. He goes on his binges for weeks at a time and then just walks in the door like he just left that morning. Then has the nerve to tell me what I did wrong while he was gone and how now he has to fix everything because I can't do it right. So I do understand. It hasn't gotten better for me yet but I have hope and so should you. It is hard but try. Colleen

constant

Oh yeah, I know the child thing, but I was playing the mother roll very well. I was the responsible one, made sure everything was done, bills paid, food on the table, clean clothes, all the kids functions and doctor appointments. I didn't let him even have them chance to do these things. I followed him around and "checked" up on him to make sure he wasn't drinking or drugging. He hated all that....then he would want me to wait on him hand and foot while he recovered from his "sicknesses" aka hang-overs.

So yes, I know what it feels like to be the mother of your husband, but I quit "taking care" of him and let him take some of the resposibility. For now he is sober and things aren't like what I have described....even if he WAS drinking I won't behave like I did before.....I promotes child like behavior.

Try looking at how you treat him....maybe your like me and encourage it. We can change our behavior, not theirs.

Constant