sodetermined

I live in a small town, too, I was able to find some about 1/2 hour away from where I live. Good luck!

Jadmack25

My heart goes out to you and your children for what you are going thru. It also goes out to your husband, because he is losing something else wonderful from his life - you and the kids.

God Bless and strengthen you all.

nowinsituation

(((bumyd))) welcome to you. I am feeling a mess right now too. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. From Alanon I have learned to remember "just for today" and "this too shall pass". It does help. I hope you can find a meeting to go to. In the meanwhile take in all the support and love of these great people at SR.

bumyd

Thank you both...and I have been, the support has been wonderful.
I goofed today. I hadn't cried at all today, was busy cleaning things up...I got the bright idea to clean out my closet.....and there was my wedding dress......stupid me. Let me try it...this to shall pass..this to shall pass.

GiveLove

Bumyd,

This is a time of huge change you're going through -- I don't think (and please, this is just my opinion) that you should measure your "good" days by saying "I didn't cry."

I cried all the time when I split. It was awful. We're conditioned to think that crying is something bad, when really, it has a purpose. If we stuff it all down inside and resist the urge to shed tears, the process just takes so much longer.

Martha Beck has a great thing she talks about: She says, if you're in a terribly sad spot and you just need to cry, give yourself time to do it. Sit and cry your eyes out. Punch a pillow. Curl up on the floor. Take the dishes you always hated out to the garage and smash them. Give yourself a time limit: For example, I gave myself 30 minutes. Then whatever grief is left over, picture yourself tucking it into a tupperware container and putting it up on a shelf until the next time you make time to grieve. It'll still be there, and you can take it down and let loose again.

I had the same bed problem and so I got rid of my old bed and got a new one. I also moved it. This helped me start to get my strength back, by changing old patterns. It is my bed, not his. These were his lousy decisions, not mine. I was miserable to be broken up, but I still had a life I had to live.....and switching things up helped me to not get caught in unexpected grief traps.

And helped me get a good night's sleep, something you desperately need right now, bumyd.

We're here for you. You can come smash dishes here with us.

:ghug3
GL

Reminder

Hi Bumyd:

Last night my oldest son...13 saw me crying...and he started crying, I figured he was going to say he was upset because of the new change....but he was crying because I was upset...he said he didn't like seeing me cry.....wow this is just so hard.

The above speaks to me. This isn't about your AH. It's about the sober mom and how she is going to deal with the situation.

Peace.

sodetermined

You know, my son (who is 9) was VERY emotional last night. I'm not sure if it's because of the change and him missing Chris, or because he knows I'm sad. It is so hard to try and put on a happy face for them sometimes!

Reminder

You could ask him.

bluerskies

aww -- bumyd -- you WILL get through this!

Sending you big hugs.

bumyd

Thanks GL.....My boys would have a blast with the dishes thing. Whats scary at this point...is now he is mad.....Its no longer but baby..i love you please take me back....It makes it easier I guess....I don't have the urge to let him back when he's being a jerk.

bumyd

Reminder , That's what it's all about at this point right....How do I deal...and have it turn out for the better....so confused..I think reminder is right.....ask him, it will be good for him to be able to get it out.

Bluerskies

Thank so much for the hug...I needed it!