anamaria

My husband has had a percodan/codeine weekend (I just found out) I knew he was on something, but not sure what. Anyways, He came around to me and called me in to look on his computer. He had created an Exel spreadsheet of his history of Rx use, since his military injury in 2001. Yes, spreadsheet...he's business all the way. He figured since he was going from 6 pills/day on and off with increased and decreased #'s...he could slowly wean himself off. He wanted to ask me if he could give me his pills and give him one when when he wants one and slowly decrease the # a day until none. I was shocked that he really wanted to make this work and admitted to having a problem ( he even confronted a friend today about it) I don't know what to make of the science of it....He tells me he sweats and gets the shakes with out the meds and it helps him at work....
I donlt know if I should be the one helping with this. I mentioned a doctor and Rehab and he wanted me to positive and try this with him.

What do I think!?????? I just wish it could be handled with a doctor....the physical aspect of it sounds so dangerous.

baileyboop

I have personally never dealt with Prescription misuse myself,so I have no idea. My gut says that maybe you could at least consult a Pharmacist if he is uncomfortable going to his doctor? maybe??

Freedom1990

Nice maneuvering by the addict! He wants you to be 'positive'.

I'd never attempt to 'help' someone wean off of prescription drugs without medical advice, and I'm a recovering addict.

We are as sick as the secrets we keep.

I'm sure he cringed internally when you mentioned a doctor and rehab.

anamaria

Thank yo Freedom....He did tell me to be positive. You are right. But what should I do? Say no? He gets this frown when I mention Rehab. I thought he was reaching out for help...am I not the right one?

Kimmieh

It sounds like a huge responsibility for you. Besides the medical aspects, keeping medication from an addict who will want it when withdrawal sets in sounds like emotional torture to me. What will you do when he begs or yells? How will you figure out when to call a doctor?

I would not do it and he should not ask this of you. You have every right to tell him that you do not feel like you are in a position to act as his detox supervisor.

Freedom1990

I agree 100%. 'No' is a complete sentence.

Latte

Ya, no is a complete sentence. I've used that manipulation before.

Jadmack25

As a nurse I wouldn't touch his idea with a bargepole, and I beg you to say no to his request. He is dragging you into sharing what is HIS business not yours. No-one should be hijacked into such a difficult and possibly dangerous position. Professional help is what he needs, even if it is NOT what he wants.
Kimmieh is spot on with questions on withdrawal problems with him.

bookwyrm

Sorry to say, but I would run from this idea if I were in your shoes...

My AH handed me his bank cards and he took a weekly 'booze allowance' as a way for him to cut back on his drinking that had suddenly increased (this was before the split obviously and before I found this site). This was a disaster. He resented me, verbally and emotionally abused me and I became the focus for everything that was wrong in his life. He didn't cut down on his drinking - unbeknownst to me he withdrew money from his credit cards and built up a huge bill. His weekly cash was a lot of money but he still needed more. It was like I was a parent and he a rebellious teenager. My life at home became a living hell and work was my only salvation.

I've read a lot since then. I will not be responsible for anyone like that again. He's an adult and ought to be able to do these things himself - if he needs help, he should get a qualified professional to help, not me!! In my case though, this was just too much for AH and he accused me of not being there for him etc etc and we split.

IMHO a trained professional is the best person for this kind of thing. Whatever you decide to do though, know that you will get support from us here.

I wish you well. :ghug3

Blondie

I'm with everybody else. It's not a good idea and should be handled by a professional. Also, sometimes addicts can get violent and will do anything to get their fix when the withdrawl symptoms kick in, even if you don't think that he would get violent it is always a possibility because getting the drug at any cost is always on the addicts mind.

worriedwife2

I just want to let you know that I did this once with my AH. I thought it was working great. I was helping him and he was letting me and all was happy. Not! I ended up finding out that he went out and got more pills elsewhere and was taking the ones I gave him too.

I think at the beginning this is what he really wanted. But through my experience, they need professional help. He did get professional help and went on suboxone which worked, but he never followed up with the therapy end of it. So therefore, I still think he dabbles in pill abuse along with alcohol abuse.

I have learned that I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I cannot cure it; no matter how much I would like to think I can.

Lots of luck,
Chris

veryrestless722

i agree with everyone else, this is definately not a good idea

my exAH wanted me to do something similar to this with his pain pills, and i tried and he drove me nuts, he pestered me to death for the pills, he blamed me when he was "hurtin" from needing the pills, it got so bad i finally threw the pill bottle at him and hit him in the head with it, course then i got blamed for not helping him, i could never win either way, so its best to not even start, let it be his problem :codiepolice

Limerick37

Anamaria - please don't go near this - my sister (who is a nurse) has actual to do this with her husband (pill abuser - percodan, oxycodone, xanax, methadone, you name it) and it only served to draw her further into his illness and her own codependence...that was 3 years ago, and like the rest of the posters have mentioned, it did not work and his addiction problems are even worse. THinking of you and hoping you stay strong!

Silverberry1331

(((hugs))))

My husband is scripts addict along with his drinking. The scripts (oxycodine and Soma) was prescribed to him...he was to take each three times a day. The prescription for the month was 90 pills each script...180 total...All GONE within 17 days....then the real game would begin...the shakes, the nastiness, the sweats, the vomiting, the lack of appetite, the irrationality...then just about a week before his next appointment, the fog would clear! He would magically be okay...just in time to go back to the doctor and start all over again.

I tried to limit the pills...bought a nice little organizer for them, hid them, removed them...it doesn't do anything. I found out he was buying them on the street.

In the same case that abstinence is not recovery with drinking...such it is with addiction.

By the way, my husband was not only aware of his use, but DEEPLY concerned that he was hooked. He lost a brother to heroin 13 years ago, and worried about his habit. Worrying is not recovery though

Your husband needs to decide for himself to get help. This is something you can't do for him...get out of the way!

I know what you are going through...the false hope is very deceptive. The fact that he is balking at recovery or NA is a big indicator something else is going on.

lovesmenot74

This reminded me of something I'd forgotten about my ex ... when we first got together, he wanted to quit smoking and gave me his cigarettes and told me to hide them and only give him 2 a day no matter what he said/did ... wanna know how that ended? First, he tried to con me into giving him more ... when I reminded him that he asked me to do this, he then went thru the house while I was gone and STOLE his OWN cigarettes from my hiding place and then LIED about having them and wouldn't give them back. That whole deal lasted less than 24 hrs!!!!!

I'm thinking with something as serious as your hubby, it would be a lot more ugly ... but that is just based on my experience.

ToughChoices

If you can believe it, my husband tried the "loving wife plays bartender" method of recovery, in order to limit the amount of alcohol that went into each of his drinks. That is - I poured/mixed his alcohol.

That lasted 1 evening. Seriously.
He got upset about how "weak" his drinks were, and told me that I was trying to control him (he might have been on to something there!).

It didn't help anyone.
I would never do it again.


-TC