shellygirl

Last night 16 year old son had high school football game. I didn't even see ex AH working on the side lines. It was out of town and I wouldn't have thought to even look. Apparently they needed volunteers and he was standing at the fence so he helped. Keep in mind he never sees our son and rarely calls him but he will go see the Friday night games for a least 2 quarters. After the game I saw I had a missed call from him so I called him back. I could tell he was drunk and he asked if I saw him at the game. I was polite and said " I can tell you are tired, why don't you get some sleep; take care good bye". When son got home I asked he told me it was the first time in his life he has ever been embarrassed (really - he is a great boy). He said dad kept calling him over (son is a starter so he is busy) yelling at him from the sidelines, really making a fool out of himself. Son said the whole team kept saying "Who is that guy?" So....do I say something to dad ? Yes I would love our son to but he won't. I know it's not my job but this can't happen again.

ANGELINA243

Sorry to hear about that shellygirl--but yes, someone needs to talk (to the ex AH) about this. I'm not sure as to who exactly should do it though. I'm surprised if this was going on at the game--why didn't some school official/coach say something--unless they didn't notice anything was wrong.

Freedom1990

Gosh my heart hurt for your son when reading that.

As a parent, I wouldn't hesitate to confront him about it. I realize it probably won't change anything, but I feel that sticking up for your son and expressing your anguish over his embarrassment at his father is very appropriate. :ghug2

laurie6781

I would suggest..................since your son was embarrassed and probably more embarrassed to talk to his dad......................................talk to your son's coach............ask what the guidelines are and can the coach put limitations on the father's 'sideline activities'?

Worth a shot...........................that way, it's not you, and it's not your son. I would imagaine the coach wasn't real happy about it either.

Just a thought.

Love and hugs,

shellygirl

Thank you Laurie, you would think that could be a good solution but in high school there is a rule about no talking to coaches. Plus I don't think he will be asked to help again since we were at another school and it was a fluke. My concern is that he doesn't call our son on the phone or ever invite him to dinner etc. but last week he showed up at practice and then the occurrence last night. I'm afraid that he is starting to really lose it. I think I need to gently call him today and talk about it.

veryrestless722

i would just try to talk to him, but i wouldnt expect too much from the conversation, then let it go, thats about all you can do, hopefully it wont happen again

i feel bad for your son though, its just not right to be put through that :sorry

shellygirl

Thank you everyone. I did just talk to him and said " Last night when we were on the phone I could tell you had been drinking. Our son said you really embarrassed him at the football game by the way you were behaving, I know you would never want that for him. Please know I'm not telling you this to reprimand you or punish you; I'm telling you because I want you to have a good relationship with him. I don't want you to lose him because I care about you and I know he loves you." He simply said OK. I said "take care of yourself, bye"
It tears me apart to see him spiraling out of control. I've started dating a very wonderful single dad on the football team so he may have seen me with him (although he has been sleeping with the liquor store clerk for two years). Okay now I can let go. Thank you!!! Where would I be without all of you!