Summer2008

Not a word from axbf since I saw him last Sunday morning. While this is not long for a lot of people for the last almost 2 years we have talked daily 99 percent of the time. Sometimes more then once a day. Even now as I sit here I don't know if he were to call if I would have the strength to NOT answer the call.

I really believed him when he would tell me how much he loves me, and while it may be true, deep in my heart I don't think he will quit drinking until he's either dead or in jail.

I still can't come to terms with the X part yet, however I'm holding strong and have not contacted him either. I know I'm doing the best thing for me in the long run and in order to get past the hurt and pain I have to get through it, and I will but it's going to take some time.

I have put a bandaid on my arm to remind myself that contacting him would be like applying a bandaid to his alcoholism.

Since I have three days off I'm going to spend some time reading "Codependent no more" and "Getting them Sober" for the second time. I will probably get my hair trimmed and mow my yard, and reorganize my CD collection, but other then that it's going to be a long weekend. I'll probably sleep a good portion of it away.

Lilyflower

(((((Summer))))) I know it hurts, but you will be alright!

Your ex is doing what addicts do sweety, he may love you, but addictions take precedence over everything in an addicts life. They ignore loved ones, they cannot even take care of themselves - forgetting to eat & wash!

It is good that you are going to focus on you and read up this weekend. Try and get to a meeting for support too. This is your recovery from him now, time for the sun to come out on Summer.

Be gentle with yourself, speak softly in your thoughts with kindness and love. You need tender loving care from you right now. Sleep is good, it will help you process the tensions and stress. Try doing some journalling too, write those feelings out.

I will be thinking of you, know that we are here if you want us, there is light on the other side. One al-anon slogan I love is ''the way out is through''.



Love and peace to you
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x

bookwyrm

(((summer)))

While he may forget you, don't you forget yourself! Do something especially nice for you this weekend. Treat yourself - you deserve it!

:ghug3

steve11694

The compulsion/obsession about everything "alcohol" is stronger than love for family or love for thyself. they will leave you to be in the company of other addicts who have/are continuing their descent into hell.

if you stop enabling them and there is someone else that will, consider yourself history.:codiepolice

there is nothing you/we/us can do the control them. the exception being sometimes an intervention can compel them into rehab

Summer2008

I talked to him last few minutes online in a poker game we play. Nothing serious, (all text in open chat room) just idle chit chat for the most part. I have to admit my heart skipped a few beats seeing him online.

I have a very good hunch he will be calling me soon. For whatever reason this morning I woke up feeling STRONG, and know that I will not return to the type of relationship we had. If him and I can't have good loving relationship with out the alcohol then for me it's time to close that chapter of my life. If this should be the case I know I will have my weak times but I will get through them.

My thinking is the ball is in his court as far as what choices me makes in regards to his drinking and my choice what I will accept and or what I want in my life.