Spilling out the alcohol

Old 10-08-2008, 08:11 PM
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Spilling out the alcohol

(I thought I posted this but couldnt find it so I am doing it again) Haven't been here for a while. Not because things have been good, but just to exhusting. My AH is still drinking, even though he says he wants to stop. My problem, I am still looking for his bottles and spilling them out. I know it does no good to do that but it just makes me feel better knowing its not there. Tonight I found 2 bottles and they are here in the family room with me. Should I just put them back or dump them? Does it matter? Do I confront him for the 100th time. I am so exhusted from all of this. Alanon didn't do it for me, so I have turned to this board for support. I just don't what to do anymore. He is killing himself slowly in front of me. Says he wants to quit, but never seems to succeed. What can I do so I don't lose him forever?
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:19 PM
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when i was with my AH, i would snatch his beers and run like hell for the sink before he could grab me and pour them out, didnt do no good, then i got yelled at or smacked or something thrown at me for doing it, hell i even poured it over his head one time, boy did i get it that time

personally i would just leave whatever bottles you find, unless you have kids that could get ahold of them, cause all hes gonna do is go right back out and buy more, which means more money spent on it, all your doing is driving yourself nuts pouring them out, and confronting him isnt gonna do nothing either

nows the time to detach, quit letting his problem be your problem, believe me i know its hard but your gonna go completely nuts if you keep letting his problem affect you :codiepolice
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by linn4234 View Post
Alanon didn't do it for me, so I have turned to this board for support.

I just don't what to do anymore. He is killing himself slowly in front of me. Says he wants to quit, but never seems to succeed. What can I do so I don't lose him forever?
What are you doing for yourself? Just as the alcoholic continued to drink, I continued to try and control that drinking. It isn't possible.

If Al Anon was not a good fit, there are other support programs out there, as well as indvidual therapy, which also has done wonders for me. If the reason Al Anon didn't do it is because you were looking for ways to get him to quit, maybe try another 6 meetings.

Keep posting!
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:32 PM
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They just buy more. It is a waste of money either way. I have a crazy idea. It's a little mean, but what the heck. Pour half of it out and fill it with some caster oil or something. LOL

Might as well have some fun. May cause him to get sick every time he drinks.

I know, I know, it's not the right thing to do.
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by linn4234 View Post
I just don't what to do anymore. He is killing himself slowly in front of me. Says he wants to quit, but never seems to succeed. What can I do so I don't lose him forever?
Welcome back, linn.

I've sat in the living room with bottles, too, crying and trying to decide what to do with them.
I'm so sorry that you're in that position.

Breathe deep.

Pouring out the booze, getting angry, and confronting him will do nothing to change the situation. It may make you feel a bit better tonight - it won't keep you from losing him forever. Unfortunately, neither will putting them back and keeping quiet.

I know this sounds harsh.

There is nothing you can do to keep from losing him.
But you can start to find yourself.
Take care.

-TC
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:40 PM
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Unhappy Thanks

I know you are all right. I need to do something for me cause I can't do this much longer without losing my mind. It's so hard to keep up the false front of everything is ok. It is not ok and it is getting worse. I have to acknowledge and accept it. This is not going to be pretty.
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:47 PM
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My denial was almost as deep as my alcoholic's.
I kept believing that he was "just about" to get better.

You're here, Linn. You're taking steps to help yourself. Be proud of that tonight.


-TC
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