chrisea

The other good news is, I believe that because of my "advanced" age.....my desire to procreate is waining. After all, I believe at the end of the day, it's that "procreating" drive built into us from the caveman days that drove all my blind desire in my younger daze.

Next time around the amount of B.S. I'll put up with to be in a relationship will be ZERO.

I chose to start dating before the legal status of my marriage was dissolved, and I don't appreciate being told I was "just wrong.


With all the clips of Paul Newman in the recent news. He was asked what makes a successful marriage. He said ~ lust and respect. (that's what makes 50 year marriages)

I definitely agree now with the respect (although never had it in any ltr) but also passion would be a good word in that statement (something again, never had in my marriage), I learn some things with my marriages & later relationships, so I don't totally regret them. But they definitely showed me what I don't want & I'll be waiting a long time...

Jazzman

Respect and passion... have to admit I've never had both in a LTR. As a matter of fact, I have made the conscious choice between either or, but never had both. I wonder what that must be like?

HopeandPrayer

I think it all depends on the emotions attached, in my case I was still legally married but had already divorced my A in my mind and heart long before the legal part went thru.

The reason I quoted this part is because I totally agree with the largest sex organ is our brain's. If we could get that under control the world would be a much healthier place. I just thought this part was funny, sorry I don't mean to upset anyone.
Barb

TooMuch4TooLong

I have one of those, she does not want to share me with anyone. She is almost sixteen and as strong willed and outspoken as her mama. She can also be extremely critical.

I am so not ready right now, I was talking to someone for a bit when I first started posting. Something happened that made me realize I was making a mistake. I was getting jealous and possessive feelings for someone I barely knew. I called it off and decided I need waay more me time.

That being said, at some point in the future I will be ready I suppose. DD will have to deal with it. I will conduct myself as I have before when I was single with her in the mix, no one sets foot in my home or meets my daughter until I am ready for them to. No one spends the night. My personal life is my business and I want to make darn sure that my daughter respects her self and her body. She can only learn that from me. BTW the only person she ever met was R, he came over for dinner on the first date. Won't do that again

lizw

Gosh, I understand this stuff well!
Which is the really problem regarding loving an alcoholic.
I loved really sick men then began to resent the fact that they were sick!!
And turning off my emotions was the only way I could cope.

My sponsor recently told me she doesn't think I will ever get into a relationship again that is based on 'needing' another person. It's this 'needing another' which causes me problems. I.e. when I am meeting my own needs but want/choose to be in a relationship with someone, then there are no expectations etc... so it doesn't/won't nearly kill me if/should the relationship end.

I find it hard to met my own needs/desires/wants because I was never taught. My parents spent my childhood blaming each other for how crap their lives were, so it is second nature to me to expect another to 'take care of me'. And as I said, it can be tough but not as tough as living in a sick relationship where I am unhappy.