drivenlikesnow

Hi,
My husband entered a rehab facility for a 30 day stay yesterday.
It is about 4 hours away from out home. He has called several times crying and asking me to come get him. He is very shy and cant handle the several daily group meetings in which he has to speak in front of the group.
He said that he cant do it and feels like to is going to have a nervous breakdown. He suffers from anxiety and depression and is currently being treated for possible schizophrenia (he has not been diagnosed yet but he recently began to hear voices and hallucinate).
He said he cant stand to be away from me and feels heartbroken. He has been crying nonstop since I dropped him off yesterday morning.
Basically what can I say or do to help? Should I answer the phone when he calls or am I making it worse by giving him sympathy and reassurance?
Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

TooMuch4TooLong

Hi Driven and welcome. I don't have an answer for your questions but can I recommend calling a medical professional for some advice? I know I am certainly not qualified. Take care and know you are not alone out there.

Chrysalis123

Hi and welcome. I don't have any experience to share with you concerning your situation. Others will be along soon to share their experience, strength, and hope with you. I do have a question for you. What are you doing to take care of you? Also, there are stickies at the top of this forum that are worth reading. Again, welcome and keep coming back.

HopeandPrayer

In order to put your mind at rest, why don't you try calling the treatment facility to talk to his counselor? I don't know if he has signed a permission form for this to happen, but when my son went into his treatment, I could call at any time if I thought there might be a problem.

Just a suggestion.
Hugs
Barb

mle-sober

Make sure that your husband has signed a waver allowing the doctors and therapists to share everything with you. Then ask them what they believe you can do to best support his recovery. They're the ones who would know.

Also, my gut instinct is that his general anxiety, his social anxiety and his other symptoms are no doubt tied very closely into his drug or alcohol use. As such, he probably needs to find the difficult and trecherous path through all that, rather than be given a pass and invited back home.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

ToughChoices

Welcome to the forum, drivenlikesnow!

My husband also attended rehab far from home (6 hours in our case).
He, too, called crying and upset. He, too, asked me to come and get him.

It was hard to hear.
I worried about him, and, given that I spent quite a while before his visit to rehab doing everything in my power to make him happy, it was incredibly difficult to say "no."

But I did it.
I told him that if he wanted to leave the treatment facility it was fine - that was his choice. He could make the arrangements. I would not pick him up, and I was not ready for him to come home.

From your post, you sound very concerned about what you can do to make this process easier on him - how you can help him.
I would strongly advise that you take steps to make this process easier on yourself.

How do you feel when you talk to him on the phone?
How would you feel about him coming back home at this point?

These are very important things to take into consideration.

Taking care of a mentally ill alcoholic is an incredibly draining task. I'm inclined to think that allowing him to remain in a professional treatment setting would be the very best for both of you, despite his protests to the contrary.

Take care of yourself.
-TC

Stubborn1

My brother also did this to my mother the first few rehabs. I'm sure he has legitimate concerns and it is scary. I agree with talking to his counselors. At this point he is desperate. Hang tough. I hope he finds a way to tough it out and stay. Best wishes.