Ago

Grats, well done and well said

BTW, to be perfectly honest, my opinions in this issue are exactly why my last relationship ended. I do believe in being treated with respect, integrity, honesty, communication etc. and for some reason, silence and "running away" has always confused, hurt and angered me, especially if they "punch me" first and then "run away" but my XRAGFBFF has repeatedly pointed out to me, silence IS an answer.

Kimmieh

I am sorry, but I don't think it's ok to hang up, say one needs space and then leave the other hanging for a week. It doesn't matter if he is in recovery, an alcoholic or has never touched a drop, it just is not ok and to take issue with that does not mean someone does not respect another person's space. The least he can do is explain his situation and ask her for patience.

You seem very consumed with catering to his needs. I don't think you should worry about having the need to be in touch with him, but rather about why you are looking for the problem in yourself rather than his behavior or the relationship itself.

Congrats on your test!

denny57

I agree, it's not ok.

It's not my place to say what the least is HE can do. I know what I can do and today I do it.

Kitkatt

He needs an excuse to get drunk and you are it for today...he is in denial that it is his choice. Don't be responsible for his choices..only yours. We are the choices we make.
Hang in there and God bless!
Hugs,
Kitkatt

susanfsu1

This is the biggest part of my problem...he said very little. He said he didn't know what to say and needed time to think. All this because I was a little sarcastic because we didn't get to see each other for the 2nd weekend in a row. He said he wasn't going to get drunk over me.

What is he thinking? Do I still even have a boyfriend...this isn't the man that I know and love. He is about rigorous honesty and openess and communication. Why am I left out here dangling?

Love and Peace.

susanfsu1

Well according to myspace. My boyfriend is now single. I am the last person on his Friends list. What a way to find out how some one feels about you. From the most important person in his life to last in the blink of an eye.

WOW isn't life grand!

TTOSBT

Susan,

You know how I feel but seriously I am blown away by this. I can not believe that somebody who is all about recovery would behave this way. My 17 year old son would not do this to one of his girlfriends!

Truly, I do not know what is going on with him, but this is NOT about you. He has either relapsed or is in that mode. I wish him well but do NOT take thios on yourself. Emotionally sober people do NOT behave that way.

denny57

You may look back on this one day and think, yes, it is - I wasn't able to say that again for 15 years. My choice.

Now, what do you choose to do for you today?

TTOSBT

I vote for a spa visit! :ghug2

susanfsu1

I choose to take it minute by minute. Cry if I need to. Thats all I can do. I am lost once again.

GiveLove

You are not lost, Susan, you are right here with us.

Cry all you want; those tears will wash you clean. His stinky choices and weird priorities and lack of common decency are sad, but you will survive this to look back in a few months or weeks (or even days) and say, "That hurt, but I'm so glad I dodged that bullet. I could've been stuck with someone that dysfunctional for life!"

You will be happy again. Just do what you need to do to get through these next few days with your head high. You deserve better than this, and you will find it.

susanfsu1

Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say. I am too overcome with emotion. Could you all just come curl up with me somewhere?

Peace and Love.

Susan

denny57

Have you tried another meeting?

Crying is good for the soul - I did plenty of it. But it's not all I can do; and it's not all I did. Can you call a friend? Try not to isolate.

When you say "I am lost once again," what do you mean?

((( )))

miss communicat

I am so sorry for your hurt Susan

but

at least you know after 5 months how unready for being the one you are looking for he really is.

He is doing the best he can. It is very unnacceptable and frankly, really poor level behaviour. Looked at from here, it shows how much recovery he does NOT have.

As a recovering A myself, I assure you, his hurtful unsober ways will only get worse, if this relationship were to continue. You would be drained. and i mean, DRAINED totally.

I support you through this recovery of self period that you are facing, but please, consider the ending Gods way of doing for you what you could not do for youself. In other words: a blessing

susanfsu1

I'm just lost in the hurt and rejection again. I trusted him more than anyone I have ever trusted in my life. He was so real.

My heart hurts so bad.

miss communicat

I do understand...:ghug3

denny57

I know how much rejection hurts.

Have you considered individual therapy? Maybe to be in so much pain about a 5-month relationship points to a very long history of being hurt by rejection.

This was the case for me (and I was with xAH for nearly 20 years). The pain of rejection goes way, way back.

Much love to you.

SereneRose

Well the worst part is over; the waiting and then the let down/rejection. Now you can bathe in the fact that "Whew" that was a close one. Hope you learned a little from him and now you can truly find that emotionally available person.

Hope and serenity headed your way!

Kimmieh

I am sorry, Susan! Remember that now is the time it hurts the most, so it can only get better (and it will!).

This is unbelievable. It looks like besides recovering, someone has a bit of growing up to do...

Ago

well, if you are REALLY mad at him, I mean REALLY wanna wreck his lil red wagon, we could introduce him to my ex!!!! She's an expert at "disappearing" and manipulating with all that online shyte. She'd make him never EVER want to date again!!!! His punishment would be Biblical in scope and nature. He'd crawl under a rock and NEVER come out again....bastid!!!


hahahahahah


hohohohohohoho


lololololololol

/wipes tear

ooooh....

ummmm...sorry...yeah I wouldn't wish that on anyone....


/looks around to see if anyone saw that....

/runs away