Triggers?
Ph.D in insanity!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 698
Triggers?
Do any of you all have triggers?
If I am around someone who smells of alcohol I feel very uncomfortable.
I do not go to any outside functions if there is alcohol present or being sold.
I've even left my childs friends birthday party because they served alcohol to the parents.
I always ask people when we are invited if there will be alcohol served and then decline politley if they say yes. That's made a few people angry but oh well.
If anyone is talking to me about anything of importance and they smell of alcohol I immediatly disregard it.
If someone is drinking and they have children with them I can't shut my mouth and have been known to call the police if they are going to drive them. Anonymous of course.
I dispise the alcoholic ads when I drive down the road.
Anyone else have feelings like these?
If I am around someone who smells of alcohol I feel very uncomfortable.
I do not go to any outside functions if there is alcohol present or being sold.
I've even left my childs friends birthday party because they served alcohol to the parents.
I always ask people when we are invited if there will be alcohol served and then decline politley if they say yes. That's made a few people angry but oh well.
If anyone is talking to me about anything of importance and they smell of alcohol I immediatly disregard it.
If someone is drinking and they have children with them I can't shut my mouth and have been known to call the police if they are going to drive them. Anonymous of course.
I dispise the alcoholic ads when I drive down the road.
Anyone else have feelings like these?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
I was mad as hell at alcohol for about a year. Got angry at the beer/liquor commercials on tv. Refused to go anywhere if alcohol was being served, etc. It took some time, but I got over it. It's not alcohol that's the problem, it's people who abuse it. And I realized there are many people I know who drink now and then without abusing it. I don't want to cut them out of my life. And now, I even have a glass of wine or a cocktail now and then.
L
L
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
When I was in my early stages of recovery, everything that had to do with alcohol triggered me, because alcohol was the enemy.
I've softened that quite a lot since the wounds aren't open and hurting any more. I have a beer now and then, and enjoy it, and my friends drink in moderation, and everything's healthy. But still there are things like, yesterday at the post office I parked next to a work truck of some kind (an electrician or something) and even though I was in a separate car, ten feet away, and his window was only about 1/4 rolled down, I could smell the alcoholic-skin smell. That sharp liquor-sweat-skin odor. And I recoiled like somebody was waving a flaming torch at me
So I'm not as offended by alcohol ads and such, but my intense mistrust and dislike of people who abuse alcohol (especially as it pertains to their kids) will never go away, I dont' think. And I dont' see any reason to try to make it. I have compassion for their struggles, but I don't really want to be around them if I have a choice in the matter.
I've softened that quite a lot since the wounds aren't open and hurting any more. I have a beer now and then, and enjoy it, and my friends drink in moderation, and everything's healthy. But still there are things like, yesterday at the post office I parked next to a work truck of some kind (an electrician or something) and even though I was in a separate car, ten feet away, and his window was only about 1/4 rolled down, I could smell the alcoholic-skin smell. That sharp liquor-sweat-skin odor. And I recoiled like somebody was waving a flaming torch at me
So I'm not as offended by alcohol ads and such, but my intense mistrust and dislike of people who abuse alcohol (especially as it pertains to their kids) will never go away, I dont' think. And I dont' see any reason to try to make it. I have compassion for their struggles, but I don't really want to be around them if I have a choice in the matter.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake Country
Posts: 333
Beinging in the middle of it, alcohol at home is the enemy. The thing that bothers me the most is that sweaty alcohol smell of a drunk. It gives me the heebie jeebies. That, and sound of a box wine tap being opened. Then I know the coin is in the air, and I don't know what side is going to come down, either the quiet pass out, or the raging monster.
If I'm out with friends, I can drink, but I can't drink much since I've lost so much weight.
Redd
If I'm out with friends, I can drink, but I can't drink much since I've lost so much weight.
Redd
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
I am glad for this post...
I was angry for awhile at everything to do with alcohol and for a long time I was so turned off enjoying a glass of anything.....
I still cannot stand the smell of alcohol coming off someone, and I felt so put off...as well as nauseated by it...but I would move to the other end of the bus to get away, and I noticed how indignant I would feel...
now as I have moved from the position of emotional hostage to the A in my life, my anger has softened and I now do enjoy a glass of wine now and then, my perspective having returned and no longer so reactive ...but still can stand the smell of the stuff....
I was angry for awhile at everything to do with alcohol and for a long time I was so turned off enjoying a glass of anything.....
I still cannot stand the smell of alcohol coming off someone, and I felt so put off...as well as nauseated by it...but I would move to the other end of the bus to get away, and I noticed how indignant I would feel...
now as I have moved from the position of emotional hostage to the A in my life, my anger has softened and I now do enjoy a glass of wine now and then, my perspective having returned and no longer so reactive ...but still can stand the smell of the stuff....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
I have no problem with alcohol at all but let someone in their 20's or 30's thats on drugs be in front of me(or near me)) and I want to shake them silly. This is a college town and those kids have no clue whats up for their future if they keep this up. Its so sad!! I could be a one woman cusader around here....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,017
I got really scared of any kind of alcohol for a while, I'm a 'normal' drinker and I was terrified of picking a drink up for a very long time. I'm sure I thought I'd suddenly become an addict if I touched another drop. I'm still not entirely comfortable with people drinking to excess around me so I stay out of those situations, but I can occasionally enjoy my own glass of wine from time to time now, and I don't mind if i choose not to drink and someone else in my company does, as long as it's not more than one or two.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
For me - it is all about what is going on in "Ritaville"
Sometimes somethings will "trigger" that nauseating knot in the pit of my stomach - those things may be the smell of alcohol, the sound of a pop-top can (doesn't have to be a beer, may just be a cola), or the sounds of pills in a medicine bottle - even if it is vitamins. Then somedays I never even notice it.
Recovery has given me the freedom of choices - Today if I am "hit by a tirgger" and needed to distance myself from the person, place, substance, etc. I have the ability to do so. For me - that is self-care. After getting myself to a place where I am safe - then I can apply the tools of the program, calling a sponsor, journaling, reading literature to search for the reasons this upset me and to better understand my triggers and how to deal with them.
Just my e, s, & h,
Rita
Sometimes somethings will "trigger" that nauseating knot in the pit of my stomach - those things may be the smell of alcohol, the sound of a pop-top can (doesn't have to be a beer, may just be a cola), or the sounds of pills in a medicine bottle - even if it is vitamins. Then somedays I never even notice it.
Recovery has given me the freedom of choices - Today if I am "hit by a tirgger" and needed to distance myself from the person, place, substance, etc. I have the ability to do so. For me - that is self-care. After getting myself to a place where I am safe - then I can apply the tools of the program, calling a sponsor, journaling, reading literature to search for the reasons this upset me and to better understand my triggers and how to deal with them.
Just my e, s, & h,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I remember still after 20 years, going to pictures with ex-ah and the people around "phewing", and comments of "what is that pong"? I guess a hundred people smelt it, I sure did, it almost had me gagging, but hubby sat there not smelling a thing. On the way home it hit again in waves, I opened the window and when he asked why, I told him. He didn't believe me of course, til he got it from others including eldest daughter. That smell turns my stomach every time, and memories flood back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 225
Huh. I think that my only triggers with alcohol are a specific cheap vodka (which no one in their right mind would buy, but my ex drank by the gallon) and a really uncomfortable feeling around people who are so drunk they are repeating themselves.
I kind of see alcoholism and alcohol as two different things, because I had loads of normal experience with alcohol before I became involved with an alcoholic.
That said, I am extremely sensitive to people being mean or disrespectful to each other, especially people in relationships. I actually have to walk away if I am around something like that. Like the "teasing" that people sometimes do their girlfriends? Making fun of them?
It grosses me out, and I feel sick being around it.
And if anyone yells in anger, not even necessarily at me, I cry. I don't mind anger, per se, but yelling really upsets me.
Luckily, for a lot of reasons, these things rarely come up.
I kind of see alcoholism and alcohol as two different things, because I had loads of normal experience with alcohol before I became involved with an alcoholic.
That said, I am extremely sensitive to people being mean or disrespectful to each other, especially people in relationships. I actually have to walk away if I am around something like that. Like the "teasing" that people sometimes do their girlfriends? Making fun of them?
It grosses me out, and I feel sick being around it.
And if anyone yells in anger, not even necessarily at me, I cry. I don't mind anger, per se, but yelling really upsets me.
Luckily, for a lot of reasons, these things rarely come up.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Middle of the U.S.
Posts: 85
I don't have problems being around moderate drinking and drinking establishments in general, but am triggered strongly by heavy drinkers and drunk people. I generally try to stay as far from them as possible, as they make me anxious and angry. I am and have always been a lightweight, so alcohol isn't a significant issue for me.
I also gross out on hangover breath to the point of gagging.
I also gross out on hangover breath to the point of gagging.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Being around or even seeing wasted people triggers my anxiety and fear, and I almost can't take my eyes off them, sucked right in.
But all kinds of innocuous stuff triggers my CODEPENDENCY:
example: I'm in the first week of class last month, new professor, he's a little goofy, little absent-minded. He ends the class almost 40 minutes EARLY. He has to keep asking someone what time it is - cuz he has no watch, and then he confuses the time class is supposed to be over and lets us go 40 minutes early...and what pops into my codie little brain- honest to God - the whole way to the subway I'm imagining that I'll go buy this guy (this professor, this PhD!!) a watch!
It's completely filling my brain, going to the CVS, getting a cheap timex, leaving it in his mailbox , because wow, this guy really needs a watch, obviously, and I feel so bad that he didn't have one and he made a bit of a fool of himself in front of the class, I feel embarrassed FOR him, and he just needs a watch - so simple and ....
**DING**
When the bell finally went off and I snapped my mind free of this "obsessive" thought I just was shaking my head at myself - and luckily - this was harmless enough- but it makes me wonder - how often does my brain just go down those pathways???? How am I receiving information and perceiving my responsibilities?? What thoughts am I crowding out with this kind of useless determination to fix even stupid situations like this for OTHER people???!!!
My codependency is triggered when one of my kids forgets their lunch (cuz they woke up late and were in a rush), or their bike gets stolen (cuz they weren't careful) and I just wanna go out of my way to bring them their lunch, or rush out and buy them a new bicycle...no consequences.
My codependency is triggered by speaking to my mother and she doesn't even mention my A brother - who is now living in her house - as if he doesn't exist - and when I ask so how's it going with Lil Bro there - she gets "that tone" in her voice and says "he's doing just great, I haven't seen him take a drink, he got a job at "Z bar" (at a BAR???!!!!) and he's finally making some money. And he's so helpful, he takes out the trash, I don't even have to ask!" And well - that conversation makes me want to scream and go into a codie verbal tailspin...(so far I'm just maintaining).
Ugh-
B.
But all kinds of innocuous stuff triggers my CODEPENDENCY:
example: I'm in the first week of class last month, new professor, he's a little goofy, little absent-minded. He ends the class almost 40 minutes EARLY. He has to keep asking someone what time it is - cuz he has no watch, and then he confuses the time class is supposed to be over and lets us go 40 minutes early...and what pops into my codie little brain- honest to God - the whole way to the subway I'm imagining that I'll go buy this guy (this professor, this PhD!!) a watch!
It's completely filling my brain, going to the CVS, getting a cheap timex, leaving it in his mailbox , because wow, this guy really needs a watch, obviously, and I feel so bad that he didn't have one and he made a bit of a fool of himself in front of the class, I feel embarrassed FOR him, and he just needs a watch - so simple and ....
**DING**
When the bell finally went off and I snapped my mind free of this "obsessive" thought I just was shaking my head at myself - and luckily - this was harmless enough- but it makes me wonder - how often does my brain just go down those pathways???? How am I receiving information and perceiving my responsibilities?? What thoughts am I crowding out with this kind of useless determination to fix even stupid situations like this for OTHER people???!!!
My codependency is triggered when one of my kids forgets their lunch (cuz they woke up late and were in a rush), or their bike gets stolen (cuz they weren't careful) and I just wanna go out of my way to bring them their lunch, or rush out and buy them a new bicycle...no consequences.
My codependency is triggered by speaking to my mother and she doesn't even mention my A brother - who is now living in her house - as if he doesn't exist - and when I ask so how's it going with Lil Bro there - she gets "that tone" in her voice and says "he's doing just great, I haven't seen him take a drink, he got a job at "Z bar" (at a BAR???!!!!) and he's finally making some money. And he's so helpful, he takes out the trash, I don't even have to ask!" And well - that conversation makes me want to scream and go into a codie verbal tailspin...(so far I'm just maintaining).
Ugh-
B.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
My codependency still gets triggered by sloppy people. I am a neatness fanatic, and when somebody puts something back out of place, I generally put it back in its "right" spot. I was doing it at a job where the other employees, who used the break-room, would leave a terrible mess. I would play the martyred victim and clean up everybody else's mess.
The smell of alcohol coming out of someone's pores triggers me. That is a stench I will never forget as long as I live. I can't stand that smell. As an ex-smoker, I can't stand the smell of a cigarette, nor can I tolerate the smell of nicotine on a smoker. It triggers bad memories. Actually, those smells also make me physically ill.
The smell of alcohol coming out of someone's pores triggers me. That is a stench I will never forget as long as I live. I can't stand that smell. As an ex-smoker, I can't stand the smell of a cigarette, nor can I tolerate the smell of nicotine on a smoker. It triggers bad memories. Actually, those smells also make me physically ill.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: pa
Posts: 260
My sister works in a small bar were the food is good.
I go in once and a while for dinner.
Last week the bar was crowded which usually doesn't happen,
I couldn't wait to leave.
It just brings back too many bad memories,listening to the men talk loudly
and gulp their beers. I hope this feeling lessens with time.
I go in once and a while for dinner.
Last week the bar was crowded which usually doesn't happen,
I couldn't wait to leave.
It just brings back too many bad memories,listening to the men talk loudly
and gulp their beers. I hope this feeling lessens with time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 341
No, I don't have a problem with alcohol on TV or restaurants. I know many people that drink occasionally and have no problem with it. However, when I smell it strongly on someone it makes me sick, always has. It just stinks.
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